My sponsor suggested that we go through the steps again.I agreed.I didn’t do a thorough 4th step,and I know that I won’t be free until I am painfully, completely honest with my self and others.My rationale in not being thorough the first time,like many other times was…man I don’t need to tell someone every dirty thing I’ve ever done.It may do more harm than good.This was my thinking.But I know now that was my defense to protect my pride/ego.I don’t remember much at 4yrs old.But I can remember doing inappropriate acts with a male friend,and a female friend.I see now this was not normal,and I wonder what led to this behavior.Ive always suffered from anxiety and depression.I never felt I belonged anywhere,and I lived in a state of pressure/fear.Fear of friends.Fear of family.Fear of women.As I am older now,these fears have gotten less tramatic,but I still suffer alot.i take propanol in order to maintain in group settings.I just would like to say to the person who feels uncomfortable in their own skin.For the person who kills themself asking themself,God,“Why am I like this”?know that there is healing for every ailment,and just take it one day at a time.