I am 36. I have struggled with alcohol for years. No other substances. My recovery has been going great so far. I am right now struggling with the whole “Step 2-Higher Power”. I grew up in a household with no religion. So I am extremely uneducated about it… The word “spiritual” I feel even dumb about defining. Im very frustrated. I keep asking myself…well what is considered a higher power besides God? And when people starting talking about God I tend to not listen…not cause of ignorance…but because I dont understand. What is out there that can be my higher power that can get me through this?
Higher power can be anything you deem to have greater power than yourself. A lot of newcomers use their preferred group or AA as a whole as their higher power being that collectively they have more power. Some use the great spirit of nature. Some use the energy that binds and bonds chemicals/elements together to create things. Some use the memory of a loved one. The thing isn your higher power is personal to you and you alone.
Don’t get too hung up on it, takes some nano seconds to concede, takes others years. But in my experience, it’s always come to pass.
Do you believe there is anything in this universe greater than yourself?
Hi there, I am also 36 and was not raised in a religious home. However, I personally have not figured it all out but I’ll tell you my take on it.
I am a nature lover personally. I find I’m connecting with the universe more than a specific “god” per say. I find peace, recharging and love in my soul within natural surroundings. I don’t often find myself for a lack of words, but I am there as I wish I knew how to word this right. Its not going to be a very generic response and it may not jive with many. That’s ok, it’s my own personal take but I want to share it in the event it may help you.
I believe I have spirit guides. Angels who guide me and help me along this life journey, even if I can’t see or hear them. We fully make our own decisions while here on earth but there are others watching out for us that want to see us succeed and live the best life we can while we are here. I feel often that coincidences aren’t something I tend to believe in, I personally believe usually people and things that cross your path are often put there for a reason. It could be to grow you, to test you, to lead or guide you or to just simply love you. There is a lot to be said for each of those lessons, both good and bad, easy and hard. Sometimes we don’t recognize it and that’s ok. We still tend to learn from the experience.
Sometimes I speak to my father that passed, or a grandparent or someone I’ve loved and lost. Sometimes I pray to the universe or the angels. Sometimes I pray to whoever may be listening and just have faith to work thru my issue myself.
This isnt a perception that will work for everyone, this is only a small piece of what I have come to accept for myself at this moment in time. I’m learning and growing more daily, but it’s really hard to explain when I try to write it out lol. I do believe life is much bigger than myself and I trust that theory and I ask for help as I need it. Even if I don’t know what it truly is, I still reach out when I struggle or want to achieve something.
As is said at every meeting, God could and would if he were sought. Doesn’t matter if your Higher Power doesn’t correlate to everyone else’s. I still speak to my grandma, ask her for guidance. It’s the physical act of asking thats necessary, not the what and who of it.
It’s always our choice, step 2 and 3 are about conceding our will to our Higher Power.
I like to think of it as my Higher Power has a lantern, and he illuminates my path, whether I choose to take that path or another is my choice.
That’s a good way to word it. I absolutely agree with asking and I love your light description!!
I think my mother is the most valuable person to my recovery. Without her I dont think I would be sober. Would she be a higher power?
That’s a great question for your sponsor. His/her Job is to take you through the steps. A lot of people who struggled with spirituality early on used the rooms and the group as a higher power.
You may not have a higher power, but do you believe that I have a higher power and that higher power keeps me sober?
A loose definition is any power greater than ourselves that can keep us sober.
I really dont. I had a sponsor. But she was so persistent…more annoying than anything that it just pushed me to kinda wanna be on my own. I know i need someone to guide me. But also give me a little space.
That’s tricky. With her being here you can set expectations, which when not met could turn into resentments. You may exert your will and try to manipulate the situation for your betterment.
Overall I’d say go with her for now, you may keep her for ever, you may move on to some ethereal being, you may accept your conscience as the almighty. All it takes is a start.
I would get a new sponsor then. The way my sponsor told me that it was my responsibility to reach out to him and ask him for help. He said he wasn’t going to hound me to make sure I’m doing the work. He tells me what to work on and when I’m done I call him to review it. If I have questions or a tough day I can call him at anytime.
I’m not gonna lie, my sponsor is the shiznit.
The age old, “my best thinking got me here”, time to use others insight and knowledge.
You’re not beholden to a sponsor, find 1 that works for you, much like your Higher Power
When you are thinking about something and you have to make a decision, do you have an inner voice and moral compass which tells you whether something is right or wrong? I’m sure you do, for me that is my connection to my higher power and I had to learn to channel it.
I don’t actually know what exactly my higher power is, it’s a bit of blind faith but I have one and I’m a big promoter of mother nature and the powers of the universe which exists all around us. Seeing is believing and all the happy healthy people in AA let me see it works.
I found meditation really helped me connect to it all. Perhaps worth a try?
Also, have you read through “We Agnostics”?
I posted this back in December, hopefully it helps you look at things differently.
One of my favourite paragraphs in the Big Book.
“We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. Paradoxically it is the way of strength. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us what He can do. We ask him to remove our fear and direct our attention to What he would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear”
It got me thinking, whatever your concept of a higher power is, it is built in to your moral compass within yourself and you need to follow the directions its pointing in when you search inside and find it. It’s something you can never really control, you can block it out and spin it like crazy to disrupt it by your choices but it will always want to point to its true direction. Is this my higher power living within me? I think so.
People need to lose the hangups about Religion in AA it is completely non secular. Please note God is used in the AA big book as a general term and there is no where which tells you what your HP should be.
If you are struggling and looking to change your life for the better it’s worth a shot.