Higher Power thread

Life in Recovery
1

What is it?
How did you find it?
What’s it done for you today?

At 48 years old I did not believe in a higher power of any good, I did believe in the devil though bc I was living in hell. Then one day I knew I had drunk so much it was going to kill me and it was going to kill me quick (after 30 years), I knew I could not drink that day as my liver was screaming pain and misery at me and I promised I would not drink for just 24 hours to give it a rest. By the end of that night I was drunk, the next morning I knew death was not enough to stop me and somehow I found myself in a church praying to a god that doesn’t exist to give me the strength to not drink for 1 day, the courage for if it got difficult, the acceptance that it will get difficult and for forgiveness for any wrong I may have done bc I truly believe I have payed the price. Amen.
I opened my eyes and saw my name on a pew cushion and looked up to see the only person in a town of 7000 that went to AA, I stood up and it felt like I was walking on clouds and the weight of the world had been removed from my shoulders.
I didn’t drink for 8 days or smoke and 3 days later I was the first person to turn up at my local AA, a place I was never going to go.
I struggle with the word god but I will use it bc I don’t understand my Higher Power and I don’t understand God so its as good a name as any.
Today I was angry and resentful and I ask for guidance, the answer is usually the last option I would normally choose but always the right one.
Every day I pay a debt of gratitude and every day I am rewarded.

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in my early sobriety i didnt bother with HP or god i just wanted to be sober that all the rest is history ,people put barriers up back of their minds they dont really want to stop so the god thing is a excuse but i did come to believe in a HP keep on trucking

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it’s not something I choose to be honest, I think it was that gift of desperation I hear so much about but now I got it I can’t get rid of it.

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And why would you want to :blush:

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exactly that :+1:

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It’s God and Jesus. I was raised in a religious family. It helps me with my character defects and my anger

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You don’t need AA to have a higher power but I’m sure you know what your doing :+1:

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Ermmm I’m not sure what mine is…

But I do what’s suggested and that keeps me sober so that’ll do for me

:blush:

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When I accepted that it is ok to not have all of the answers myself, that the universe was working ok without my direction, things got a lot easier. My HP certainly has had a hand in my recovery. I am not capable alone.

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