I listened to a friends step 2 work today at drug rehab and it got me thinking back to the beginning of my journey how one day I was done, done with the drugs, done with the manipulation, done with lies, done running from me and I was done killing myself.
An app for counting my sober days because I was so fixated on the pain that I couldn’t do this life without drugs, booze, sex and self harm was the main reason I’ve got this far, that everyday at first I would just willing wish for the minutes to become hours and the hours to become days of being just clean and there on the side bar was this ‘talking sober’. Where it unlocked my mind into not just being clean but recovering and actually accepting the errors of my life events.
Peoples daily struggles connected into me like never before, I would sit and read people’s story and feel that raw emotion of tears running down my face that I could connect to what this person has gone through and they gave me hope, Hope that a life of sobriety could change me.
This place led me to picking up the phone to drug rehab, to openly admit I was an addict but I wanted to become a better person, I would listen to a few people’s view on the 12 step programme, it lead me to hold my breath and go to N/A meetings.
I never noticed before how much my creative intelligence was working with me guiding me, ensuring that even when at times I want to press that’fuck it’ button, somewhere, somehow, someone compels me not to pick up.
So I suppose to conclude my rambling believe in this place… Reach out when you think your gonna relapse thats the whole point on here for me is connection, share and even what the fuck sometimes because I have Alot of you to thank for the support, encouragement and that extra word of Don’t do it when all else had failed for me.
