people might assume “surely it cannot be that bad” but they might not realize the emotional and mental toll it’s taking on you, which clearly it is as you shared some of it in your post. but we here on the forum get it, and we fully support your decision to put the drink down.
lots of great things to read on here, browse around and see what’s been working for others and do some of that yourself.
here’s a great thread Resources for our recovery and there’s plenty more on here.
glad you’re on the forum, welcome!