We had two other friend couples come to our home for NYE this year. It was my first time hosting an event for friends and not drinking. Drinking is mainly what I typically think of people doing for NYE celebrations. My husband and I successfully did not drink! When another friend asked us in front of everyone else about not drinking, my husband just answered that he wasn’t drinking right now, and that we hadn’t for a few months. He said that we were working on being healthier and making healthier choices. He said he had lost some weight cutting it out, and he didn’t know what the long term goal was, but that he just wasn’t drinking right now. No one really even questioned it more after that. It was something I had stressed way too much over, and my husband really helped me out so much. Something simple like casually answering that for me, and acting like it had nothing to do with me, meant the absolute world. It’s a situation a lot of us alcoholics tend to overthink. My husband never asked me about what I would say or do when people asked; he just had my back. We had a good time, even played games, and we didn’t need a drop of alcohol. I actually enjoyed being sober for it and think I really do prefer hosting sober. I feel like a weight has been lifted, getting that first event out of the way. Also, just a reminder of how lucky I am to have a supportive spouse during all of this.
Sounds like you had a great night and you have a supportive and understanding partner!! 
I definitely do!! 
I know!! I used to get stressed out about hosting even when I was drinking lol. I felt a lot more organized and at ease hosting sober! It’s crazy.
I’m glad you had a nice celebration. And your husband seems awesome. I was really nervous about the no drinking question in the begging to,but when someone asks me now, or question why I don’t drink I just simply says that I quit drinking because I can’t handle it. Some people takes it as a joke, and then I say something like “No seriously I can’t handle it, if I start I can’t stop, it won’t be just for tonight” and that’s usually the end of the discussion. Other people seems to think it’s more sensitive than I do nowdays.
It doesn’t bother me when other people drink around me anymore, but with that statement they usually don’t 
Keep up the good work.
He is pretty awesome. I definitely want to get to that comfort level when it comes to answering questions about my sobriety! Hopefully with time, I’ll get there. It’s something I should be proud of…not embarrassed!
To be honest I took me a long time to get there. And now I mostly do it out of spite. Drinking alcohol shouldn’t be the norm.
Congratulations! That’s a REALLY big step. I know how difficult it can be to explain to people why you’re not drinking without crossing uncomfortable personal boundaries. If your husband’s explanation was helpful, I’d say write it down (as best as you can remember) and practice saying it out loud. Maybe rephrase things in a way so that it sounds like something you would say. Either way, practicing and memorizing your little elevator-explanation about why you’re not drinking will make it easier to deliver when you need to. Keep it short, sweet and confident. “I have IBS and it messes with m stomach. It’s just not worth it.” - the end. That’s a 100% true line that I use all the time (if I don’t want to get into the more personal stuff). If someone is like “oh - well - I could never give up my wine!” - well… that’s saying something about them, not me, and they know that.
At first I was really worried about what people would think when I told them I wasn’t drinking. Here’s something I would keep in mind: LOTS of people don’t drink and TONS of people drink very rarely - like half of the US population hasn’t drank in the past month (here’s some stats for you - https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/brochures-and-fact-sheets/alcohol-facts-and-statistics#:~:text=Prevalence%20of%20Drinking%3A%20According%20to,drank%20in%20the%20past%20month.) So really, it’s not that out of the ordinary to not drink, and only alcoholics like us think that abstaining from alcohol is weird or a big deal. There’s a billion reasons not to drink.
Last year was my first time hosting NYE sober. I had diet pop in my hand the whole time. At one point later in the night I made some mention of having not had alcohol, and literally no one had noticed! They all assumed I had had a drink at some point. But here’s the thing - none of the people I was with are alcoholics. None of them were getting drunk, and they weren’t thinking that much about what people were drinking. And because they were all drinking moderately, I never felt like I was on a different page than they were. We all seemed pretty sober. I’m not sure anyone drank enough to exceed the legal limit to drive, but some people drank even less than others because they were designated drivers.
It would have been a very different night if I were hanging out with drunks or alcoholics, but I wasn’t. I don’t have space for people like that in my life anymore.
Even though I relapsed recently, I’ve experienced 2+ years of sobriety in my 30s. Based on my experience, no one cares if you’re drinking or not, unless they are alcoholics who get insecure or uncomfortable when they see someone abstain. And those people, frankly, wish they were you.
Hope that helps.
Thank you so much for that!! It definitely helps! You are so right. I have noticed that the couple of people who have been rude or snooty about me not drinking, were both people who have issues with their own drinking. Most people don’t think much about it, because they aren’t devoting so much of their time thinking about it, like I am. 
It makes a lot of sense. It’s such a good reminder of how much we let alcohol consume our thoughts, compared to “normal” people. Even when we are sober! I need to remember that when I stress about how people perceive me not drinking, they probably aren’t “perceiving” much about it at all, if they don’t have an issue with drinking themselves!
Bahaha. 
That’s hilarious.
I also hosted sober on New Year’s. A very small gathering, but I was the only non-drinker. Only one person asked about it and I just said, “I’m not drinking right now.” They asked, “Any particular reason?” (I think they thought maybe I was pregnant since that’s about the only other time I’ve not drank around them.) I said, “I just needed to make some changes.”
It was interesting being sober and observing how much my friends were consuming. I realize that I need only worry about myself, but I couldn’t help but notice it, and it made me think that maybe there really isn’t a “normal” level of drinking, it’s all just a perception. Idk. Idk if that even makes sense. 
No, I know what you mean! I had some of the same thoughts myself. But then I turned it around and thought about how many times others have had thoughts about my drinking. Lol Gave myself a quick reality check! It was interesting observing others while sober. People are much more annoying now. 
