You’ve forgotten the fact that the day has a “y” in it as an excuse to drink. Lol
They are all excuses I used as well.
Perhaps revisit the reasons why you want to stop.
Write them down.
As Nordique says, the money issues will go away,. The rest are all things you have to learn to deal with, because life isnt going anywhere.
For most of my life I hid from the problems behind a bottle.
It’s easier!
But at some point we have to learn to deal with life without the crutch.
Luckily there are so many things to help us.
But the decision and hard work is from us.
And we can’t let what people around us are doing affect us.
My wife still drinks. Not as much as she used to I’ll grant you, but she still drinks.
It’s not me anymore. I’m a non-drinker now.
Good job, I want to be one too.
So do it!
Stop drinking. 
Ivr been staying with someone who isnt sober. It my kids mother. Its none of my business.
My sobriety is my business. Hers, or lack of, is her business.
It will make you crazy trying to work someone elses recovery. Yours is still pretty fresh. You need to focus on you.
You need to be willing to go to any lengths for your own sobriety. They need to find their own way.
Drinking because your partner is, wont solve your drinking problem.
Once your stable in recovery all you can do is live by example and hope for the best.
Dont expect it. You will probably be disappointed if you do.
Thanks… I’m waiting on my sponsor for a meeting at 7.
Nice. My kids mom created alot of drama for me today. Im meeting with my sponsor too.
Your headed in the right direction!
As usual wifey has wine right at 2 pm. Right after we feed the pets. 5 pm 2 martini type cocktails then back to wine for dinner. Sometimes I get help with dinner and clean up and pet chores etc… most times I don’t think I do. So tonight wifey tells me “she’s out”. Meaning she’s passing out on the couch as usual. She sees me in the kitchen starting the washing up with all the pets hanging out for their nightly feeding and “she says glad you got it under control” and proceeds to open another bottle of wine and go back to the couch.
I think and only think to myself. 
I guess your not quite out you’re up enough to open a new bottle of wine. Which she isn’t going to drink. Cuz as I write this 30 minutes later she’s passed out. Full wine glass on coffee table.
I’ve logged many many hours in Alanon because of both my addicted children. And I been to many 12 step meetings as a guest. I am so grateful for my Alanon experiences that have helped me so much with my sobriety.
I could have easily said out loud to wifey “you’re awake enough to open a bottle of wine couldn’t you help with the dishes. Or feed the cats or the dogs or give Minnie her pills.” Anything? But no I didn’t. I refuse to cause the drama. She may make the drama but I would have caused it. We could have gotten into a big her drunk me sober fight. My life is too short for that now. Fuck it. I ain’t doing it.
I like cooking dinner. I’m a great cook. I don’t like a dirty kitchen. But those are my choices. I could have made a frozen dinner or a can of soup for me for dinner. But I CHOOSE to cook. I could leave the dishes in the sink til tomorrow and wifey would probably feel bad next morning and knock them out no questions asked. But I CHOOSE to do the dishes tonight.
I’m responsible for my sobriety only me. And God. I cannot. And I will not be responsible for anyone else’s sobriety.
Thank you Alanon
Thank you friends at TS.
We got this.
Hey I get to watch whatever I want on tv most nights. 
and I got a snuggly cat nestled into my side. I generally have 2 cats and 2 dogs in bed at night so there’s no room for her anyway.
I’m grateful for the times of day wifey is sober. Shit we been together 40 years. Whadaya gonna do? I know what I’m gonna do. I’m going to take care of me.
Great words mate. Brilliant share.
You sound really upset/resentful towards your wife’s drinking. Have you spoken to your wife (when she is calm and sober), told her how you really felt about her drinking. I mean don’t attack her or make it a point scoring exercise, but say you are worried etc and offer support. Is there a reason for her wanting to drink early in the day (2pm would be early for me) and heavily. Did you use to drink with her, but now you have stopped your pathways have changed. 40 years of marriage, there must be something special there. She probably doesn’t realise what her actions are doing to your relationship. I suppose only she can make the change. My pets sit with me too, my fluffy lumps of fur 
My situation feels the sane. I think my husband feels the sane as well. I think in our own areas we both are right. He gets gone b4 me by 5 to 6 hours, cooks for himself. And leaves a disaster . I feel like he should clean up after himself. He feels I need to help him more. I feel like a maid and he feels no help. I think we both kinda stuck.
That’s not the point Dazer was trying to get across here Bluebell.
Basically she can do what she wants because we have no control over our SO’s.
It’s because he thinks that way that he has no resentment about it.
Good morning Bluebell.
I broke my promise to myself on not checking into TS til after my devotionals. Your post has been in my mind all morning. I’m not going to make that mistake again.. You have given me a lot to think about and I appreciate that. The old me would have already talked to my wife this morning on my dog walk to get those feelings out and address the problem. But that’s not me anymore. I thought I was doing pretty good not resenting her. Maybe on the surface. My Alanon work has help a whole lot.
My one time running a meeting I picked the topic resentment, because of both of my addicted children. I was more than very resentful toward them. I had all these notes and examples and I was all set to go. I got there and forgot all my notes and shit at home. I heard God laughing and saying “you got this.”
Anyway… yes we both use to drink like that. At least the past few years.
Her mother was an alcoholic. Died at 62.
Her youngest brother was an alcoholic drank himself to death at early 30’s cuz of schizophrenia.
Her other brother was an alcoholic died before 50.
Her sister was an alcoholic died in her 60’s.
I feel like that part in My Cousin Vinny. “My brother was a mechanic my uncle was a mechanic” 
Both our children ended up being addicts. All is good there now thank God for miracles.
We always use to talk together many times about our drinking and you know… we’ll quit or cut down when…
There is some real trauma happening here politically in our country and it is affecting the hell out of both of us. At least we are on the same side. And Covid-19. I just don’t know what to do about her drinking. But I know I didn’t cause it. I can’t control it. I can’t cure it. And I thought just maybe she’d cut down when I started my sober journey. She did for a few days.
You’ve given me some good insight and I will think about it and maybe I will try talking again to her. But for now I’m going to sit with these feelings. I do get worried about her. I personally need to learn to sit with uncomfortable feeling and realize it’s ok to have them. Without reacting immediately to get rid of them.
Sorry for the long rambling thoughts. But it felt good for me to get it out there. Thank you very much for your insight on my post.
Have a blessed day or evening wherever you may be.
I don’t know what I’d do if it wasn’t for my pets. I love having 4 cats. I got Daisy in the morning. I got Beatrix at shower time. She alway runs to the window bed in the bathroom I installed when I take a shower and hangs out with me. I got Maverick after dinner on the couch like last night. And Alice at bedtime. And in between I got 2 dogs.
This might still happen.
The first 2 months I gave up my wife didn’t drink at home. It was over Christmas.
Unfortunately her dad died in the Feb and she did drink a bit at home. By now I’d got used to me not drinking anymore so it didn’t bother me.
I wouldn’t sit there staring at the bottle or her full of resent.
Over the last 6 to 8 months she has drunk very sparodically untill now she hardly ever drinks at all.
She went out with her friends the other night and that’s the first time she has had a drink in a couple of months.
So who knows what the future brings my friend.
Up until I gave up we would drink equally at home but she wouldn’t have the extra that I drank through the day.
It is stressful and worrying when someone you love drinking habits or any addiction become harmful. I have been there. My husband rolls his eyes at me when I drank too much, but he did the same, but that wasn’t a problem for him. Apparently I was the problem as he hid his drinking well, too well that every day was a lie. I was your wife in some respects, but my husband as done the same. I would wake up at 4am with full wine glass on the table. I do hope your wife can overcome her drinking and you both can enjoy the future together. I didn’t mean any bad feeling towards you at all, but your post sound so sad for a couple who has been married for this long. I didn’t want you to throw it away. I’m an old romantic and love to see young love grow old (not saying you are old).
No worries at all no bad feelings here. I’m generally pretty opened minded. Or maybe wishy washy. After I wrote out all my stuff to you and sent it I saw @anon12657779 posts and thought he has a great point too! I pray we are all just here to share our feelings and help each out the best we can in this crazy mixed up world.
“Take what you want.
Leave the rest”.
I’m really learning a lot about myself thanks to y’all.
Much better day today. She’s still drinking but I haven’t had to wash a dish or coffee cup all day. I’m glad I had a lot to think about today and had the chance to vent to y’all last night. Thanks for your support. @Bluebell
@anon12657779
I hope you’re not drinking and are getting a least another day sober for a change.
Remember if nothing changes nothing changes. @Knkhorsed
I am thanks, working on changing my perspective… any insight good!!
It can be pretty difficult… I live with my brother, who is also an addict and is currently using multiple substances, including my drug of choice. I have to remember every day that I don’t want that lifestyle, and remind myself of the reasons why I don’t want to use multiple times a day. It’s pretty rough, I empathize.
Sober life with drinking spouse is better than drinking life with drinking spouse.
Boy, so true… he an ass, I’m an ass…we live in conflict assville… at least if I’m not drinking…its just him being an ass and me trying to be designated thinker and not engage him. So while I’m here…today tough as my sweet old Bumble cat passed away. Man oh man did that drinking voice talk!! I went to celebrate recovery tonight, and in my notes I kept writing, he is gone, drinking will make worse, I am sad drinking will make worse… drinking will do nothing but add another sad day to this sad day… and a headache… so fizzy water and bed soon