Im beating myself up over here because I’m in my head doing the “look how better everyone is doing in life” thing.
Hiya im Zach, in my early 30s, sober since Aug 23 2023.
I spent my 20s working on the road in construction and was a very high functioning alcoholic. Once I hit my 30s, my body said no more and went nighttt night.
After almost 2 years I’m finally able to physically and mentally get back full time.
But Im so far behind, I dont know where to start.
Drunk me was suchhhhh a dweeb to leave me in such a mess. Im talking I need to file for bankruptcy, no vehicle, no job, no home, no support system or person to call.
Im really sorry if this sounds like a pity poor me. I just need some proper guidance. Someone that has been here before or knows someone who has. Any stories similar to mine, please reach out. This cant be this freaking hard, right?
I was 32 when I got sober. I was unhoused, unemployed, unemployable, and pretty much completely destitute.
First, I needed to focus on my sobriety so I actively engaged in AA and NA. This gave me community and support.
After 6 months of nothing but sobriety I felt able to work again. I got a minimum wage job and moved in with a friend from AA. The job was with a friend from NA. I worked hard and paid my bills.
After a few months I took an entry level job in a field I was passionate about. I worked this job for a few years before receiving a few promotions.
I now have what I consider my dream job. I got here by maintaining sobriety and connecting with community. My goals were achieved through action and humility. I knew I had to start over in life so that meant taking a low paying job and moving up.
My advice is leverage your skills, find your passion, and be persistent.
Welcome to the forum! Glad u found us!
I can really relate to ur post. In fact last night i was just thinking about this very thing.
I started using when i was 15. 22 years later (at age 37) i got clean and sober. Im 3+ years into my recovery and I still feel sooo far behind. I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if i didnt waste over 2 decades on drugs. Where Id be. BUT… truthfully i cant change what has already happened. I CAN however plan for what im going to do today which will impact my future.
I found writing out a step by step plan helpful in achieving the things i wanted to achieve. It helps me feel less overwhelmed and more in control of my future. Financial goals (paying off debt) is a big one which im still working on… but have made progress. Health goals is in progress but its slooooow progress. Obtaining certain material items is on my list also (a house, material things for my apartment, getting my drivers licence back etc). But the foundation of all of this is sobriety. Bcuz without sobriety i have absolutely nothing. I can not and will not achieve any of these goals if I am still using drugs or drinking.
What sort of goals do u have for urself? Pick ur most important goal and write down some basic steps that u can do each day to achieve it. Sometimes it takes time but if we stay sober, many things are possible. Try not to beat urself up for ur past as it can not be changed. Keep looking forward and focus on bettering urself each day
When i got sober lost my house my companies my wife went to AA and never looked back had nothing didnt know how the future was going to work out but i stuck in did what i was told and almost 39 years later still sober and retired and travel the world .
The thing is, when you compare yourself to others, you will never stack up. Start comparing yourself to your yesterday self. As long as you are better today than you were yesterday, you will always improve. But it takes work. You gotta show up everyday, even on, and especially on days you don’t want to.
“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with” - Jim Rohn
Surround yourself with people who you aspire to be. Observe their habits and do the same. Ask questions, follow advice. Do the things today that will help you improve tomorrow. Keep a daily todo list, keep it reasonable, check off those items everyday. Do what you say you will do. Be honest with yourself, and genuine with others. Know what you want out of life and work everyday to get it. Don’t be afraid to fail, and when you do, learn from it. It’s ok to ask for help.
“The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself”. Baz Luhrmann
