I’ve had some hard realisations in recent days. I had a horrible alcohol related incident last weekend that has made me remember how, for me, there’s no such thing as one drink. It turns into 5. Then more and I’m really messed up and do stupid things. And it’s been going on for years.
So it’s a fresh decision. And the thought of being sober is scary. But the thought of doing Glastonbury sober next week is very tough. It feels impossible. I’ve already bought some drugs, and was planning on drinking. But in recent light, I am genuinely thinking that I need do it sober.
Have you guys got tips, ideas, encouragement of how I can get through it without temptation and other pits i can fall into?
Ps I have good understanding and non-peer pressure friends.
Welcome to the community! Why are you afraid of being sober? I am not questioning the fact that you are, I am just asking you your particular fears.
(For instance when I quit I thought I could not live without drinking and then discovered I really preferred not drinking)
You are the one who has to keep you from drinking or drugging. Your well meaning friends are good. Making a plan now like you are will be what will help you through. Most people would say this early in sobriety Glastonbury is just too much temptation.
You have to rewrite your script should you go.
Commit to yourself Now that you are not going to drink, have a plan of substitute drinks in mind. have people’s phone numbers to call, this site.
WHY?? would you want to be stumbling around Glastonbury messed up when you could enjoy it so much more sober??
This is the truth and something you will only know when you successfully do it.
What will your incentive be to stay sober?
Can you give someone a bunch of money w the plan you don’t get it back if you drink or drug>?/
What is the longest you have been sober for in the past?
Throw away your drugs. To show yourself you really don’t know want it. So when someone offers you drugs or alcohol you can decline, thinking ‘Ive already thrown away my stash why should I use or drink now?’
And also it’s a good question, why you are so afraid of being sober?
What scares me? Fear of missing out. Really getting into that dancing. Enjoying myself on a level. As I type this I realise that I know all of things are possible, and more, while being sober. It’s just so new to me. I’ve gone one month sober, years ago. Otherwise many of my social interactions usually includes booze.
Another thing that scares me is slipping up. Having that one drink.
Also, thinking about it… It’s that friend who’s coming to visit and it would have been great to have a few pints with. It’s our wedding party coming up and it will be great to celebrate. And a part of me (the controlling part of me) feels like it just won’t be as fun.
I’ve realized I dance a lot better and more aware sober. Even longer, back then the drugs made me dance a few hours longer of course but nowadays Id be too tweaked to dance a long. Whereas when I dance sober People often came up to me telling me how beautiful I was dancing
You will have a wonderful experience just being. It may surprise you that you are able to get into the music and the dancing just as much and hopefully a lot more so sober. Just do your thing!
Slipping up.
You are almost setting yourself up for failure by going being in your first week of sobriety but we have to think positive here.
Whatever happened last week when you drank, would you want that to happen in Glastonbury?
Are you a person of your word?
Can you make a promise to yourself that you will not drink a single sip?
If you made that promise to yourself would it be important to you?
Could you go to Glastonbury as the official sober photographer for your new sober friends at the sober site?
Glastonbury is one thing in my life I have not done that I would really like to do so it is hard for me to say, “Don’t go, don’t go.”
Get strong in your commitment to yourself to just say NO.
Have a very clear idea in your head exactly why you want to say NO.
Whatever happened last week for instance.
Write this down.
After the incident that happened on the weekend, why do you fear going to Glastonbury sober? Do you actually feel like you’re not going to have fun if you don’t drink and do drugs? I guarantee you, that fear is just in your head.
I’ve been to different events over the years, and I enjoyed the ones I remember the next day the most. I love going home clear headed having had an amazing time. In the past, I’ve gone to events where you need another few days off just to recover after all the drinking
Pros/cons
No getting messy drunk, no horrible dry mouth hangovers and needing days to recover, no needing a lot of bad food to make you feel human again, no regrets, no blackout bits that other people tell you about the next day… the list goes on and on.
Vs
I had a great time, I remember everything! I kept myself and my belongings safe, I got to take lots of pictures and videos, I met some really cool people, I’m going home with nothing but great memories, no regrets!
I’m sure you’ll have your own list of pros and cons… Which is it to be bear?
What happened last weekend is very unlikely to happen over Glastonbury. Although, I was blackout drunk and I did some inappropriate things that as. 37 yo, I’ve never done in my life and wouldn’t ever do/don’t stand for it. So I can’t even guarantee that it won’t happen.
I just realised that my drinking is an issue, generally and it’s a big wake up call. I hide drinking in front of my friends and wife. Always want to get that extra strong drink. This list goes on. And I can’t remember the last weekend I had sober or having had one drink or something.
I’ve had a chat with my wife about it. I’ve been reading a lot. And listening to many podcasts, watching docs. And I can relate to all of the people who are recovering.
So this is a longer term goal- being sober. The realisation just so happens the bloody weekend before Glasto doesn’t it!!?
Also, all these tips and points of encouragement are very empowering. Thank you all!
I walked away from alcohol without help or support.
I decided to not drink anymore and that was what it was. It was my decision for me. It is what I wanted for me.
There are help groups across the world, irl, the internet, etc but the person who will most help you not drink is you. Not drinking is not an impossible feat. You CAN do it.
The chance of you having too much to drink and doing something you regret, are really ashamed of, etcetera is high. Read here the next days.
These are real people, people who wanted to take that next drink until they said no, people who did take that next drink and how awful it made them feel emotionally and from the ramifications.
I like what @SimonSick said about an experiment. Continue to empower yourself.
As @Dazercat says, Just for Today he is not going to drink.
Thank you all. It’s the first time I’m opening up about it. And the first time people have given words of encouragement, strategies, experiences and ways to do this.
I’ll definitely keep you posted on how it goes. I have some days to consider my strategies, do internal work, get prepared.
I remember wanting to go sober a long time before I actually did it. We have all had the same questions and worries as you.
Wondering if you’ll still have fun
Worried you’ll stick out because you’re not drinking or drugging
Wondering what you could say if people ask why you’re not doing these things
Worrying about the long term. What would it be like if you never drank or drugged again?
I wouldn’t worry too much about the big picture, because you’ve enough to deal with in the present. FOMO comes from the belief that our drugs of choice give us something good. The fact of the matter is, it/they rarely do. It normally results in low self esteem and shame amongst a host of other things.
With sobriety, particularly in the early days, you just worry about today. You’re not being made to sign a contract that you’ll never drink or do drugs again. You begin your sobriety journey because you want to be a happier, healthier, more confident, and probably a financially better off version of yourself.
Don’t big this up in your head before Glastonbury. Just don’t bring drugs or drink. What have you got to lose by giving this a shot? You have some really good friends that are happy enough to let you do your own thing. Put yourself up for the challenge to do Glastonbury sober. If you don’t have a brilliant time there sober, I’ll eat my shorts (channeling Bart Simpson there).
Don’t forget to come back to tell us how you got on, I know I’d love to know! We are here for support, check in anytime
Just got back from Glastonbury on Monday… It is a pretty incredible festival!
So, I managed to, and I’m really proud of it, not drink through the festival at all!
There was a moment on day 2 where I really wanted to drink - had the urge for a few hours at 12am or so. Tired, hot and a beer would have hit the spot. I managed to avoid it at the festival and walk back to our glamp site and thought, I’d get one there instead. Convinced myself that one will be ok and I’m not gonna be doing it too much anyway.
I got to the bar at our camp site and purchased a cold beer and walked to the seating area, cracked open the can and stared down at it. I read somewhere “I don’t want 5 pints and 1 won’t be enough”. And thought about that. And how I’m about to go sleep in a bit anyway. I also remembered you guys. There was this thread of a thought of you guys that I remembed- asking me to report back how it went. And honestly, the strongest thought of all was wanting to come back here and say that I did it!
I decided that if I have the urge the next day, I can explore it further. I left the open can on the table and walked back to our tent.
The next morning there were no more temptations. And for the next few days I really enjoyed the festival being sober. I stayed out and danced till I physically could and really enjoyed the mornings and days. Felt great about it.
I’m continuing this journey. Exploring the whole alcohol and drugs thing. I’ve done some homework and I can see where it stems from - this helps me understand the urge and that I’ve been creating patterns for years.
I’m undecided whether I will go tea total. Or have the occasional drink here and there. Whether I am even capable of doing this. And I’m asking myself is there even a point of having the occasional drink? Big topics! And lots to dig into me too.
Anyway, thanks for your responses and thank you for asking me to check in with you guys after the festival. It really helped! Any further tips on how to go forward from here would be great! Material to read, podcasts to listen, documentaries to watch… Whatever it is. Although, I’m sure there are lots of tips like this on this website… I’ll check it out.
Please read all of the threads on “moderation” before you make that decision. I’m so glad you had a good time, and put your sobriety above all else. Recovery is progressive, just like our alcoholism if we choose to continue to get in the ring with the first drink. It will win in the long run EVERY DAMN TIME!
Congrats on making it through Glastonbury sober, that’s big! As to having the occasional drink I can only speak for myself - but have found that this goes for all problematic drinkers I have seen and talked to : I lost control over my drinking. That’s why I have a problem with it. The only control I have is to NOT drink. Having the occasional one would mean exerting control over my drinking. I don’t have that control. It would lead to me drinking uncontrollably again.
Therefore I don’t drink at all. Much saver and much easier. Even when I could pull it off, I don’t think it’d be any fun to have just one every now and again. It would take enormous will power and self control, if at all possible. All that effort would defeat the purpose having that one. BTW, what purpose would having just one serve?
Congratulations! I’m happy for you that you were successful in not drinking, enjoyed the concert Just as much, if not more, like many of us told you that we thought you would.
Thank you so much for coming back and reporting on how you did, I thought about you.
: I lost control over my drinking. That’s why I have a problem with it. The only control I have is to NOT drink. Having the occasional one would mean exerting control over my drinking. I don’t have that control. It would lead to me drinking uncontrollably again.