Im here again after relapsing, i hate everything about myself and not being able to control this is making me wsnt to k1ll myself.
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You hate everything about yourself? Can you name one positive thing about yourself or about what you have done at any point in your life? Sure you got knocked down but you can always get back up and fight. I’d say coming on here and asking for help is at least one positive thing you have done. Desiring to be better is a positive thing. We are all human and none of us are prefect but you need to learn to forgive yourself for your shortcomings. Get up and figure out what it is you can do to succeed this time whether it be rehab, meetings, counseling, finding new activities to do, etc. Also if you are truly about to kill yourself please seek out help from a professional trained to deal that.
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I wont kill myself, im just dissapointed.
Thabks for your kind words, Ill just try again.
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Hey Ciggy
We’ve all been pretty dejected and disappointed in ourselves, probably many many times.
It’s not an easy thing to grapple with but the fact you are here, you are trying is always a good sign.
Find an aa group, talk to a therapist and keep reaching out here. There’s always someone willing to listen.
Best wishes, you got this
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It’s ok to be disappointed but it’s how you channel that disappointment that matters. You can channel it into fear and loathing or you can channel it into action and improvement and learning from failure to make tomorrow better. Remember Einstein failed I believe over 1000 times in the pursuit of making the lightbulb. Did he let those failures get to him and give up. No instead he learned from each failure and incorporated the lessons of failure into each new prototype until he eventually had a working light bulb. In the same way you can look at why it didn’t work and incorporate the lessons this time around
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Thanks everyone, I guess I should go to bed now and try to sleep.
Ill have your words in mind.
Tomorrow will be better.
Not mean Edison, i forget names aswell lol
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Lol yes yes indeed
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Hello there and welcome
You may not believe me but quitting crystal meth took me many many tries, and same goes for weed and cigarettes and cocaine and all that.
You do not have to get it right from the get go.
But you need to take the appropriate steps so that you get closer to your goal. For me, I did not immediately separate myself from anything related to my addiction, that is what took me many tries.
For you maybe it is something else.
I am sending love virtually.
Stay strong
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Yes, ive been making the same mistake as you. This time ill separate nyself from events wheres alcohol involved, and night plans in general.
Thank you for your words, sending love to you 
I remember myself unfollowing pages where techno parties were posted because it would get me triggered: months later i went to one and only had redbulls and preworkout 
What I am trying to say is if you get a strong foundation by taking some distance for now from this night outings (ofcourse I did that too not only the techno parties) then later on you may feel really good enjoying these noments sober
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