To who ever might have input -
The days here are so heavy. I am full time mother of 5 and a full time employee who works from home. I was on a six month bender trying to stay sober from 8:30 onward. I found this App and was doing alright for 18 days and now have relaped for the past six days. Tonight I made dinner after a full days work, started drinking out of desperation to chill my nerves from work and took it too far. My husband began mocking me after I tried to bring in a lesson for our kids (I feel like I can only communicate the things so feel strongest about after drinking) saying I meet to sober up.
I donât know how to communicate the things I feel are important without a drink or two. I am a quiet person. Help.
Husband husban
HI! Working Mom here too. You can do it. Have you looked into AA? I was a hard sell about AA but it really is helping me. Make a new escape routine. When the kids sleep create a new ritual for yourself. Even just skincare or something. Meditation. I like using the Calm app. Reach out here⌠there are many here in the same boat⌠weâll listen.
Youâre so kind. I honestly feel
Like I do t have the support or energy to create a ritual for myself after the kids are down. My husband does not support me to have the kids go down at a reasonable hour. I have no time to be peaceful.
I am an introvert. I know if sounds dramatic but it feels like torcher to have my little ones tapping me very 5 minutes for a little request. Itâs been 6 months of this. I know many would feel blessed to have this disruption but to me itâs overload. I have no escape
Working mother of 6 here so I can totally empathize! I also used drinking to unwind after my crazy days and often took it too far. Iâm on day 6 of sobriety and just wanted to let you know youâre not alone! Itâs hard! Iâm trying to find things to replace what alcohol did for me in the evenings because we still need that âreleaseâ after a day of working and taking care of all of those humans. Hang in there!
Thank you. I feel like Iâve lost all respect from my kids - I see their love but fear Iâve lost their respect for their future lives. I miss dreaming.
Hi! Working mom of five here too! But four of mine survived and one is still home trying to LoL I drank quite a bit while they were growing up, just trying to juggle it all. But I do have a few things to say to maybe help you 1: This is temporary. I PROMISE you they wonât stay young. They WILL grow up. (I felt like I was trapped in eternal exhausted motherhood at the time). 2: They WILL love you no matter what. Sheez mom, they got your love in their back pocket! 3: However your husband treats you, theyâll pick up on it and eventually start treating you the same way. Itâs okay to tell him to knock off disrespect in front of the kids (drunk or not⌠But straighten it out when youâre sober. A drunken fight is not what the kids need to hear lying in bed). 4: Youâll look back and be sad that you spent time with the drink in hindsight (I did anyway). Booze likes weaknesses in people and creeps in that way. 5: Really really really look at your feelings as to why youâre drinking at the end of the day. Is it sadness or fear? Unplugging, or relaxing isnât a feeling. Booze only increases anxiety and sadness in the long run. 6: I agree with the above. Try to find a program that works for you. I know itâs damn hard when you feel drained all the time. And you know booze isnât the answer, or you wouldnât be talking to us. But, despite us SUPER WOMEN trying to conquer the world and do everything, we need our time to fix us or weâre not going to be good for anyone. Donât be afraid of talking to your doctor as well. The stressful issues arent going to go away. But HOW you handle them can change. Big big hugs and sending love and strength your way
hey there. Your question triggered me. Since you can imagina me myself and maybe a lot of people here have that same question. But looking for a different âsameâ kind of escape. makes it harder to get out of the tred mill of the neurological highway alcohol has brought into our systems. And although I struggle with the same. maybe it is more a refraining of the question for yourself. How do I let myself be seen without my doc. And, how do I unwind I can imagine. Because, give yourself credit, 5 kids a household, work and this pandemic state takes a lot from us.
I have a nerve pain condition and realy life the fact that alcohol or sugar calms the pain, more than anything, only⌠it inflames it so much that it makes it worse every time I stop taking it. Adding the anxiety etcâŚ
I tried about everything in search of, meditation, breathwork, journaling, gardening, dancing. to slowly meet myself again without the numbness and then from there maybe one day work on the communication part, standing up for myself.
There are a lot of other hard working moms here battling the same, stay close to them
Love
I donât think you can get the same kind of escape, but that kind of escape is no good. It is a numbing kind of escape, and it helps create the kinds of problems you feel you need to escape. If u are sober you can be sensitive to ur body cues, and take a break of a cup of tea and a read of a magazine, or whatever is good for you, before u reach the breaking point of u only want to feel nothing. I only have two kids, and I do have a partner, but I have had the feeling of just wanting everyone to leave me the fuck alone for just ten minutes. But I definitely have more patience, and a sense of humor, when I am sober. Drunk, hungover, or in the midst of the emotional wreakage of regular drinking, I am far more grouchy, unrealistic, exhausted.
Practically, are there some times when the little ones are in daycare and the older ones can take care of themselves for half an hour? I often felt guilty âI should pick them up straightawayâ. No, some time to urself is essential.
intentions have no weight or value. Actions are the medium of exchange in relationships. Apologies are checks written on account to repay a debt. Time to make some deposits so that your account isnât overdrawn.
Sorry that you are struggling, and glad you are here, reaching out.
