I am having trouble separating myself from drinking. Regardless of my kids and wife, and I don’t know if it’s due to my sexual confusion.
I hate not having a drink and spending a day without drinking feels miserable.
I don’t know what to do?
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Well, how about either have a drink or stop hating not having one ?
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Just a few questions. You don’t need to reply or share your answers here but I’d like to ask :
- Who are you trying to stop drinking for?
- How does spending a day drinking make you feel?
- How does it make you feel the next day?
- What are the reasons you are trying to
stop drinking? - What damage has your drinking caused?
- what does drinking offer that you think not drinking does?
- what have you been trying to do with your time instead of drinking?
Quitting alcohol isn’t easy. In the beginning it certainly isn’t fun. It’s uncomfortable. It’s stepping outside of your comfort zone. It’s feeling all the feels and not numbing them. It’s facing and dealing with truths you’ve been avoiding. It’s about creating new habits and new routines. It’s learning how to deal with life on life’s terms.
It’s about building supports around you that give you strategies and ways of managing cravings (ie AA, SMART, Dharma Recovery, IOP or counselling etc), grieving your old relationship with alcohol and building a strong foundation for recovery. It’s taking it ODAAT (one day at a time) and being around people who support you and can relate to what you’re going through (ie this forum or meetings).
Quitting alcohol on our own is super tough, lonely and near impossible.
Many of us quit for our family, our partners, our kids… but I believe that the ultimate, number one reason we quit should be for ourselves. If it’s for other people, resentments and anger can fester towards them and failure often results. I am a Mum of 4 and couldn’t even quit for my kids. It wasn’t until I decided to do it for me, because I deserved alot better than I was giving myself, that I was able to get to where I am today. And the flow on effect has benefited my kids and helped heal relationships with my family that were truly falling apart.
So instead of feeling miserable for not drinking, think of the misery that comes with drinking and have a think about what YOU truly want and need. What YOU truly deserve. not drinking does not have to be miserable, it all depends on the way you look at it and deal with it.
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Does it really though? Or is that drinking is just what you are used to? Or drinking sllows you to escape or put off unpleasant things, that will just bite you in the ass harder later. Drinking may be numbing or stimulating but it isn’t peaceful or fulfilling or enjoyable. At least it wasn’t for me. @Becsta 's questions were right on the money. Think about the answers and what alcohol really does for you.
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What damage has alcohol done in your life? How is your life unmanageable with alcohol in it?
I feel like this statement is partially based on what that addictive voice is telling u. Feel free to correct me if im wrong 
Our minds lie to us ALL the time. It will try its best to convince us that we need substances, that we are miserable without it… yet in reality alcohol does nothing positive for us. The biggest thing I had to learn, was to be able to distinguish what is that addictive voice and what is reality. If u truly didn’t have a problem and ur life was fine with alcohol, I feel like u wouldn’t be here on this forum. So im wondering what damage alcohol has done to u and how ur life is unmanageable? I have to remember how bad it was, bcuz alcohol and drugs don’t make things better, they never ever will. Maybe remembering how bad it was for u, can help in putting that distance btwn u and alcohol
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