What do people do to “let loose”, relax, or enjoy social outings?? Since sober (52 days) I have avoided anything social, due to it not being enjoyable in any way. I feel so anxious, uncomfortable, out of place in any outing. Before, after a few drinks I felt like a different person being able to talk to people, and actually enjoying myself without thinking 1000 miles a minute about everything. I am battling wanting to socially drink again as drinking alone was my only issue… I am writing here to vent and hopefully find other people maybe in the same boat with different perspectives… I feel my social life is poor/non-existent (outside of forced socializing at work) I need something to change…
I think after 52 days with your mind is a little Whittier quicker if before you were good after a few beers you dont need them now and you will be fine but if you think you will drink yes dont go.As you say change that you want change the opportunity for change is there but it wont come to you. You have to seek opportunity 4 your change.be strong in whatever direction you go.
My social life was pretty non existent for the first year of sobriety. You could find other sober people to hang out with maybe. It gets better, I can be in any situation now and I’m good (I’m a little over 4 years sober).
Great job Dan.
Whatever i want really. I can juat enjoy being places and the people at them. Why be embarassed of what you say or do sober if you never were drunk. To the outside world largely they see you the same.
It’s definitely one of the things we relearn how to do. There are so many behaviors we need to relearn, especially if alcohol was a regular part of our lives for so long. 52 days is really early in sobriety and if you aren’t comfortable putting yourself in that situation, then don’t. Take it easy on yourself, there is no rush in sobriety.
I avoided those types of situations for around a year, and after that I only put myself in those situations around people that respected my sobriety. Now I enjoy all the things I used to enjoy and have drastically modified my friend group.
My social life has changed since getting sober.
Before, it was bars, bars, parties, and bars.
After getting sober, that scene is just not desirable.
The first year of sobriety, I was pretty anti-social. I did things… like, I traveled quite a bit, I just didn’t do social things, like bars, parties, and bars.
Now, after 5 years, I rarely participate in social activities, not because I’m sober, but because I’m older and have a family so social activities and friends aren’t as high a priority that they once were.
But when I do find myself in a social situation, I do cut loose and I enjoy myself and my company. How? Idk, there’s no trick. Just learn to be comfortable in your skin, learn to listen to others, learn to go with the flow and learn when it’s time to dip out. Well, I guess that is the trick.
I think the biggest thing to know is that social life sober is not the same as before, so no need to fear it, just allow time to evolve and you will be fine!
I took up social dancing, it’s great craic and not focused on booze. Most of the dancers don’t drink at all or very minimally.
I think so many of us felt the way you do, that being a different more social person when we drank. It takes time to relearn how to socialize without alcohol, especially if it is a situation where people are drinking. My first couple of times out when there was drinking I had to have a plan in case it became too much. I had some people I could text or call. If you need to find those people to support you, meetings are a good place to start. Congratulations on your 52 days!
The interesting thing I found when getting sober was how much I drank to make myself enjoy situations that weren’t very enjoyable. I definitely abstained from places that triggered me to drink for at least 6 months, but when I felt strong enough to not feel like I wasn’t missing out, I realised that those environments like bars or parties that solely are based around drinking just doesn’t cut it, it’s boring, it’s uncomfortable when your not drunk.
I make a point now to attend outings that are centred around an activity, like bowling, art, hiking, dancing, music. But I know if someone invites me to a drinking only event, it’s a hard pass. I’m not putting myself through it sober that’s for sure
I was thinking this also months into my sobriety I think in due time your priorities might change realizing that drinking does change our mind chemically, and that it takes time for our brain to rewire hang in there.