I desperately need help to quit. Pornography and masturbation has had really bad effects on me mentally and physically holding me back from many things. Please if you have any advice on how to quit pornography, I would appreciate it so much.
Thank you
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How old are you if you don’t mind me asking? And where are you currently at in life? Other than the problems with porn, do you have any other things in life that are bringing you down?
@RetainKing can you offer any advice ?
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I rather keep my age confidential but I am currently educating and due to lack of focus or commitment I’ve fallen behind a lot so that has a lot of stress on me, at the same time times have been tough with my girlfriend and we argue a lot tho we reloved that but it’s still an ongoing thing. And I’m fasting so throughout the day i don’t do anything but as soon as it’s night time I go crazy, then feel bad about it and the next morning I have absolutely no motivation and the same goes on with my education and girlfriend
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Thank you so much for the advice bro it really helps a lot. I failed again tonight but like you said, day by day I’m gonna work on this starting rn
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Honestly, I feel like it’s a way to escape my problems with a short term rush. And plus I fulfill my insecurities by watching things are everything but reality which makes it worse.
Btw is there a no fap community I can join?
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Same, a while ago I saw a video that was disgusting and it was stuck in my head for a long time so I decided to completely quit but after a few weeks I was back on
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I’m tired of this man I wanna gain my sex drive again. I wanna gain the confidence and energy and motivation and testosterone levels I had before.
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I’m hoping on the NOFAP community bro I got this✊ Imma keep y’all updated with the progress. Retain king, thank you for the advice man. If you gotta YouTube channel or something about this topic I’d love to subscribe, if not then you should make one for sure.
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I know im a woman but here is a few things i’ve learnt on my way…
Finding other things to distract you, it will take a while for the energy to transfer from the motivation to watching P to utalizing the energy elsewhere…
Taking a long ass walk/run before you go to chill.
Your brain is really playing mind games with you at present as it enjoys that quick dophaine rush from the relief of masturbation and the ritual of porn… You made me this routine in your mind and that is what you brain has on a continous loop.
The passwords is a good idea if you dont want to admit the porn watching say you want to cut back on social media…
You’ll make up any excuse, any reason why you can’t do stuff but its all a vicious cycle to keep you in that state of addiction.
Know that your not alone, the world has made it so easy to access porn, designed for stress relief and instant gratification!
I have to admit thou not a health professional you sould like your in a very low mood area, which never helps it only feeds the dam addiction!
A cold shower when you feel the urge give your body a bloody big shock, wake it up after that… Try going to bed with your partner or just staying in the same room as her or others (dont know your living arrangments). The more time alone, the more the idle brain wonders.
Don’t beat yourself up about this, your making progress by being honest unfortatntly there is no quick fix, this is learned behaviour that you have to change.
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I agree with you on both thing cold showers are amazing they do wonders. And I unfollowed a lot of accounts on Instagram that might trigger that part of me that would wanna relaps. It might not seem like it but from last experience, semen retention is so beneficial for men more than we can imagine. Before I relaps again I only made it up to 7days but I absolutely felt the difference in my mental and physical health, my sex drive went up so much, i was more motivated and happier and healthier but as soon as I started doing it again it brought me back to square one, but this time I’m gonna make it. My long term goal is to first of all, completely take porn out of my life, and with exception, the only times I will be doing anything sexual would be in person with my girlfriend. Working out, meditation and cold showers are the most helpful ways to save that energy.
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Few things to add bro.
I too have had my struggles with acting out sexually both inside and outside of being in a relationship. One thing that nobody ever really challenged me on when I would discuss in forums like these was the fact that I needed to change my subconscious attitudes towards women in general. Watching porn conditions your brain to see women as objects purposed for instant gratification and after a while this changes our beliefs and values to the extent that it flows into every other aspect of our life negatively. In order to break the cycle of watching porn you need to fundamentally hardwire your beliefs about women. Usually this would involve a period of celebacy and some serious cognitive behavioural therapy. But just being conscious of your negative biases towards women in day to day life is a great start.
Second thing nobody ever talks about in these forums is the link between porn addiction and a fear of intimacy. One of the keystone traits of most sex and love addicts is a deep fear of emotional and physical intimacy. This can usually be linked back to a mother or father who was an emotional roller-coaster throughout the addicts childhood and constantly had the child questioning whether he or she was actually loved. As the child develops they learn negative coping strategies in order to protect themselves from risking further emotional turmoil. These are usually hugely subconscious defense mechanisms. Some examples are keeping your significant other at an arms length emotionally, and switching off from the sexual side of your relationship. Heavily focusing on the negatives in your partner in order to convince yourself your shouldn’t be with them. Using porn to satisfy your sexual cravings instead of having real sex. Fucking instead of making love. These are all signs of a fear of intimacy, so if you think this sounds like you I’d say the only real way to effectively get to the bottom of it is to work with a therapist.
These are two things I didn’t want to hear, but needed to hear to get better. Also I asked how old you were because as I neared closer to 30, my sexual urges got far more controllable. So if you are younger have some faith in the fact that eventually it will get easier regardless of what you do. All the best man.
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Man, that actually hit me. Because I’ve never looked at it this way and when you mentioned the subconscious defense mechanisms I realized that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I don’t degrade women at all although I did realize that at one point I was forgetting that they have feelings to etc but I realized that I’ve been doing the things you mentioned in my relationship and hearing that actually made me feel better that I realized a big reason to why I watch porn. Since we had our last conversation I have been 4days and 2 hours clean from masturbation and porn and I already feel so much better. I’ve worked a lot of things out with my girlfriend and been able to focus more on school without procrastinating so much, I feel less tired tho I am lacking a lot of sleep. I just feel a boost in my overall health and energy and it’s only been 4 days. I do get the urge a lot but I try to instantly distract myself and do something productive instead. And now I’m thinking about practicing to take control over my ejaculation even during sex because I don’t want to waste that source of energy and positive feeling.
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Really glad to hear you have had some amazing epiphanys my man. Its pretty cool when you have those realisations and can use them to make your life better.
Sounds like you have been doing a lot of reading into the nofap movement which I think is cool. I have been down that road before and there are some definite benefits. What’s important to note though, is that nofap isn’t going to serve you well if you don’t work on the deeper issues that cause your patterns of pmo.
A really good analogy is people who are addicted to food and overeating - if they stop eating all together they a whole other problem. The key to getting over addictive eating behaviours is to eat just the right amount and for the right reasons. Nofap can be like sexual anorexia if you aren’t working on your shit while you do it.
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