what are you getting sober from? in my experience, holding a reservation like this, planning for relapse to happen, does not motivate well at all. I had to let go of that idea early on for sure. leaving the door open like that did not go with sobriety for me. what I have learnt from others on this forum supports this experience.
maybe take it one day at a time and just try and focus all your energy on getting sober?
here’s some helpful stuff for all kinds of DOCs: Resources for our recovery