So I relapsed. I am currently 4 days sober though and am proud of this. I am so sure I can do this. BUT this weekend, I have to go out with my husband and his couple friends. How do I get through it? Any tips guys???
1 Like
What do you mean by āhave toā?
4 Likes
Iām with @Englishd
Donāt go if youāre already feeling uncomfortable about it. You donāt need to put yourself in that position right now.
4 Likes
Itās not that I āhave toā itās more that it was arranged a few months ago and my husband is super excited and I donāt want to let anyone down
1 Like
I changed everything, said ānoā to situations and people where alcohol was a given. My sobriety was/is far more important than going out where there is booze. After nearly 11 months, I honestly feel like I have not missed a thing.
7 Likes
But if you go, and relapse again, youāll be letting the only person whoās feelings really matter to your sobriety down, and thatās you.
We get sober for ourselves. Iād suggest not doing anything that could jeopardize your sobriety, ever. And especially early on.
11 Likes
I think you are going to find that most of us would say donāt go
3 Likes
I hate to say the obviousā¦but you get through it by not drinking. If you really donāt want to drink you order something different. āItās not easy, but it is simpleā.
You can do it. 
4 Likes
Well, thatās a tough one. I get you made plans and donāt want to let people down. But how about you? Do you want to let yourself down? Are you solid to not drink? I know for me in early days, I had to cancel A LOT of dinner parties and even didnāt go on a girlās trip for my bestie which included doing a Komen walk with her, she is a breast cancer survivor. That is how serious I was about babying my sobriety in the early days, weeks, months.
Until I felt solid I could go to a restaurant or host a party with drinkers all around and not drink, I didnāt go. I made sure my husband understood 100% that me getting sober was WAY more important than a dinner with friends. I made sure I understood that as well.
In the past, I would just use that as another excuse to drink. Not anymore.
And if we had friends over and they were all drinking and it bothered me, I have zero problems going out or hanging in my room room reading or doing yoga or asking everyone to leave.
Nothingā¦nadaā¦was or is as important as me taking care of me.
If you āmustā go, have an exit planā¦take a walk outside, to the bathroom or head home. Drink LOTS of water or ginger ale. Eat lots of food and desserts.
My advice? Stay home, it is too early for dinner and drinks with friends.
Keep us posted!
6 Likes
If you have to go then maybe try this:
Tell your husband youāre not drinking and ask that he respect your decision by not encouraging you to drink.
Choose a beverage before hand, my go to is iced tea. Donāt even need to browse the menu, just request an iced tea as soon as I can.
Prepare by telling your self right now, and everyday that I am not going to drink!.
Visualize the event being sober, then go do it!
6 Likes
Iām the next one who says āDonāt go, itās too earlyā. And remember, you donāt āhave toā do anything except be gentle to your body and keep alcohol out of it. Our health is the most important thing we have.
3 Likes
I had to prioritize my sobriety, and in the begining, above most anything else. Because it doesnāt come naturally for most of us on this siteā¦I disappointed a lot of people and said ānoā to a lot of things. Have to. Itās not a side issue. It wonāt happen on its own and itās all to easy to chuck it when trying to accommodate others.
3 Likes
You guys are genuinely incredibly helpful and supportive. Thank you. I think youāre all right. Itās too early for me. I told my husband I wasnāt joining them and he looked so disappointed I felt bad. If I do decide to go out, I think Iāll meet them there and order a soft drink as soon as I walk in and then duck out early. I can do this. I can always message you guys! Thank you so much!
11 Likes
Once you get some time under your belt you will be able to do a lot more. But for now you just keep doing you.
4 Likes
Hi everyone! This is my third day that I downloaded this wonderful app so I can/trying to overcome my alcoholismā¦ And some point sometimes I feel like a failure going to AA meeting (which I donāt minimize) But my The struggle is for real, cause I do believe in the twelve steps. My biggest problem is the weekend. I come from a small island from the Caribbean (Aruba) where alcohol is daily involve in our life. Right now that we are in carnival timeā¦ I am doing my best to cope with āJust For Todayā but honestly my mind is trigger me for the weekend already! But one thingā¦ I had read so much from the topics that all fellows are sharing on this app and thatās one thing that have me still āaliveā (sober). Today is my 3rd day sober and I am grateful to God. Btw my first sharing.
4 Likes
Welcome. AA us a tough pill to swallow in the beginning. With time, going gets easier, and becomes enjoyable
2 Likes
Welcome 
you can do this! Congratulations on 3 days!
1 Like
Unless and until you can say ānoā to the drink that mattersā¦the first drink and say ānoā to the hardest person to say ānoā toā¦yourself, consistently, with vigor and enthusiasm, I would highly suggest you say ānoā to the event.
3 Likes
I forth @Englishd haha. All in favor?
You dont NEED to do anything. Put your sobriety first always and you will never relapse. Itās only when we put ourselves in danger that we fail.
1 Like