I often find that i have the hardest time staying sober during social events.
For example, tomorrow I am going out with some family to music in the park. They’ve got food trucks, and beer tents, and live music. Prior to sobriety I would have LOVED to head right into that beer tent and try out something new. Its probably what i would have looked forward to the most!
My question, how do you all cope with these feelings? I figure that completely avoiding social events isnt the healthiest way to cope either so… whats your go to?
2 Likes
In the first year or so it is absolutely the healthiest way to not drink.
6 Likes
For social events I have found a few things helpful. #1 have something else to drink that you really enjoy, non-alcoholic beer has been super helpful for my personally (I know some avoid imitation drinks), but pick your fav thing like a pop, or whatever!
#2 still treat yourself, I find I’ve been leaning into food big time has helped. Head to that food truck you might have otherwise avoided in order to spend more on booze.
#3 allow yourself to leave if you need to. Recovery is one day at a time and social events are awesome, but allow yourself to excuse yourself if needed
3 Likes
I found that honesty is the best policy here. In my early days when I went to social events I would be sure to tell my friends or family members that I was not going to drink alcohol. Plan an alternate beverage in advance and stick only to that. I often went with ice tea. Options aren’t your friends here, too much wiggle room.
Then I would choose someone close to me, usually my husband and that person was my exit strategy. That is the person who knew me best in the group that I could tell when I felt tempted or anxious. That person was the person who I could look at and say get me out of here and we would leave within 10 minutes, no questions.
Set your intention not to drink clearly.
Have one non-alcoholic drink that will be your drink all night and stick to it.
And most importantly, if you feel tempted or start bargaining with yourself about “just having one” (its in quotes because it is often our brain’s exact phrasing to get us back to drinking) bail.
Ive found certain drinks that help me. I feel like if I blend in to the croud i feel less left out. So at parties I’ll put soda in a solo cup. At fancy dinners ive asked for gingerale in a champagne glass. So on and so forth. The hardest one for me is concerts. I used to not only drink but use other stuff and concerts. So being at one sober felt REALLY out of place. So i started going to more and focused on reconnecting with music which has always been a deep passion of mine and reminding myself i dont need to he in an ALTARED state of mind to ELEVATE my mind. Focusing on being present and how nice it is to just be in the moment. Also bringing someone of your support system can really help too. Someone that is willing to stay sober with you makes more of a difference than youd think
By not going 
First 3 months ore so of my recovery I avoided every alcohol related event, people and places.
In that period of time you are very fulnerable for temptations, so why jeopordize your sobriaty?
There will be plenty of social events to go to when you have more sober days and you are stronger to handle them.
Just my 2 cents 
1 Like
@SoberWalker said it best. Why jeopardize your sobriety? It’s just not worth it. There will be plenty more events in your future. In the grand scheme of life, a few months of no social events is miniscule. A year from now, no one will remember you weren’t there. Sobriety is very valuable, protect it all costs!
1 Like
the first year only social event i went to were AA dances
1 Like
The answer to that is in Step 12 in the Big Book. They give very clear instructions.
I will add that when newer I stayed in “safer places” or took another sober alcoholic with me. We used to say, “Safety in numbers”.