When life seems as though it couldn’t get better and all signs are pointing north. What makes us have that fleeting thought that when we have them we don’t know how to close the door? Even when all the past has given us all the evidence we could ever need to support that using would destroy us? Why then would we for any amount of time play with the thought, or worse yet think we can handle any tiny bit of dope? How do we close the doors on these thoughts. Let’s just say we aren’t given all the correct information on an idea that sounds good on surface but it’s so bad that just the fact that I would entertain the thought of using is repulsive
This chapter has some insight into your question.
Particularly in Jim’s Story early in the chapter.
And if there are substances involved instead of alcoholics, just change the word from alcohol to said substance. It’s all the same with addiction
I take writing or drawing or my feelings and if I find myself to involved with he thiught I reach out to a sponsor or a person I can trust
Share your thought with another fellow. Right here on the forum, or call someone.
In my experience those kinds of thoughts are just part of selfdestructive behavior patterns. Like, all is going to well and that can’t be right so now I have to level that out by creating a negative experience. But we don’t have to act on it.
Again, share those thoughts, because that’s all they are. Just thoughts.
We are drunks and addicts. The fact that we have a thought about using is normal. it is what we do with that thought that counts.
I had the shit emotionally kicked out of me yesterday. Sure there was blame on my part – but the retribution that was returned crossed all sorts of boundaries and things were said and done - that tbh are unforgivable to me. What was said has forever altered my life and the life of others in an extremely significant manner that even I don’t see the path forward.
Did I think about a drink – no. I thought, among other things, about a liter or a handle and getting so tossed I could just check out and not feel any more for days. Did I – no but I walked up to that line and peered over it. I ended up removing myself from the situation and called another drunk. Does it still hurt – hell yes. Am I farther away from a drink than I was, yes but that only gets me through right now.
Whether it is good times, bad times, or any time, to take a drink (or use other substances) is to put the bottle to my head and pull the trigger because that is the certain outcome for me-- maybe fast maybe slowly, but surely painful.