How do you feel when you forgive someone🍒🍋

Emotional Support
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How do you feel when you forgive someone and how or what helps you… And advice

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Forgiving someone for me really meant that I was letting go of the feeling I was holding onto towards that person. It released me from that feeling, and had not a thing to really do for the other person except for maybe allow them some freedom.

By doing this I could still build and hold healthy boundaries with them and others who may have the ability to harm keeping myself safe.

It made me feel lighter and more capable in knowing I could choose me in tough times.

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What helped me was the realization that by forgiving others, my mental state improved. Holding onto resentments will only lead me back to drinking and drugging which in turn will lead to my death. Forgiving doesn’t mean I have to forget.

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Thanks for this thread. I’m still working on forgiveness. Because the alternative sucks.

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Forgiveness has been a tricky one for me. But honestly I felt sooo free when I forgave others. For some people, it was a looong process. Most of the people I have forgiven, didnt even acknowledge or apologize for what they did to me (my ex for domestic violence and 5 other people who sexually assaulted me). I never once got an apology, but still i forgave them so that I could be free. The forgiveness that I gave wasnt so much about them, it was about me and wanting to be free from that resentment and anger and hate that i felt. I didnt want to live my life in that way anymore. Forigveness to me isnt about saying that it was okay. Its about releasing that hold that it has on me and returning to a life where I am happy and joyous and free. They (12 step meetings) mention that resentment is the number one killer. As in, if we dont take care of our resentments, they will eat at us, which in turn could cause us to relapse. So finding forgiveness is crucial for my recovery. I also came to understand that the people that hurt me were “sick” people. They werent well. No one goes around hurting others on purpose. Its not that im finding an excuse for their behaviour (bcuz what they did wasnt okay), but only to realize that they need help too. I was taught to pray for those that hurt me. It really lessened the resentment i had for them which gave me the ability to forgive.

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