I think that, perhaps, it’s important to as ourselves, “Why am I grateful for X thing, when it is clear that I am suffering?” when approaching your headline question. I have found that asking myself very pointed questions, and searching inside of myself for answers, no matter how difficult those answers might be to admit to, is important to move past difficult situations I might feel trapped in.
I’ve had jobs that I’ve enjoyed, but over time I’ve found myself feeling anxious, depressed, sad, and overall unhappy. I never liked leaving jobs because they were the ‘known’ and changing things was the ‘unknown’, and honestly the ‘unknown’ is kind of scary.
When we cut ourselves, we feel pain. That pain is there to let us know that something is wrong and needs to be addressed. The same is true for emotional pain. It is there to let us know that something is wrong and needs to be addressed. If we are engaging in activities that injure us physically, the best thing to do would be to stop; I would say that the same is true on an emotional level.
A person can be grateful to have a spouse, even if that spouse is beating them; however, perhaps that gratitude is being used as a band-aid in order for the psyche to ‘protect’ themselves from the truth that they are actually in a bad situation and there is a reason they don’t want to admit to themselves that they won’t leave. Perhaps they are afraid that they won’t be able to find another spouse and will be alone, and that prospect of being alone is worse than then for sure having someone, even if the situation is causing them to suffer. But sometimes our fear of that unknown possibility is worse than reality, and that by leaving an unhappy relationship, that opens up the possibility that they could find a relationship which could make them happy.
I think the same can be applied to a job. Perhaps not at a 1 to 1 scale, but there can be similarities. We don’t have to have a boss who is abusive, to realize that our relationship with our job has become unhealthy for us, even if we love our job or like the security it gives us.
I don’t know if this is useful for you, but they are my thoughts on your post based on my own experiences and how I process information. I wish you the best in your situation and hope you find a way to be happy in your work life again–whether that is in your current company position or by finding something new.