I have been sponsoring members of the Fellowship of AA for over 17 years.
The reason I started this topic is not to teach sponsorship, I am no expert, but, to reach out to all Sponsors in this community to share their knowledge, positive and negative; so other members of our community can benefit from our experience, as they embark on what can seem a daunting journey sponsoring and supporting a new comer through the 12 steps.
Hopefully they will learn how to avoid the pit falls we have faced, and so be better equipped to help their sponsees to achieve lasting and fulfilling sobriety.
8 Likes
I sponsor others in the way I was sponsored because I do not know any other way. I make myself available to men in need of a sponsor. I start at the beginning of the book. I do not force them to go to meetings or do anything. I explain that I got sober by doing those things and it worked for me. If they would like to get sober they can do the same things and I will be there every step of the way.
3 Likes
Sometimes sponsorship can be just placing ideas and waiting patiently until they take root and flower, not forgetting to keep them spirituality and emotionally fed and watered.
4 Likes
Well…i no longer Sponsor anyone in AA as I have transitioned to Recovery Dharma. How I sponsored the men I did depended on where they were at and what they needed. I required nothing out of them, as it was their program. Each one was different.
5 Likes
I totally agree, each sponcee is different, you have to be lead as much as you lead, it’s generally a two way street; done well both parties benefit.
3 Likes
@Lezourez thanks for this topic. I recently finished my 12 steps and am not ready just yet to sponsor but im interested in learning others methods so im ready in a few months
3 Likes
That’s so awesome Bootz. What a tremendous commitment to service.
Some of my guys ive sponsored are over 25 years sober now so must be doing something right , when i get a newbie i give them a big book as gift and we go through it especially how it works and we go from there . today im retired and make time for newbies and if i cant sponsor ive got guys who will take up that work
4 Likes
My first sponsor was from Seattle over in the UK with work. He really was ‘old school’, if it wasn’t in the first 164 Pages of the BB it wasn’t the core program, the rest of the book was added value.
The 12&12 came later to amplify and better explain the steps and traditions, but he insisted that the BB was the key to recovery and I’ve inherited the same ethos, although I’m more progressive, as there’s so much great material available, I encourage my sponsees to build a recovery ‘tool box’ using whats out there provided they run it by me first, there’s utter crap out there along with the good stuff.
My sponsor also told me that lifestyle changes had to be made so I could recover and said in general,
'if it works keep doing it, if it doesn’t work or stops working, stop doing it, pretty simple really; that’s the key to how I sponsor, keep it simple, there’s too much complication in life so I try to keep the recovery message as simple as possible.
3 Likes