I feel most people live in real life and I live in my own world where I’m always in my own head. I spend a lot of time thinking about what I need to do to achieve my goals and a lot of energy trying to shut out thoughts of my fucked up past.
I isolate a lot from others in the world which makes it hard to maintain relationships. But since having my son I just don’t care anymore about engaging with people. I’m working my hardest on my career and balancing being a mother that outside of that I just want to be alone. In all honesty I had to complete change everything about my life and mental state when I had a child. Before my sons existence I was ready to die so improving my mental health became #1 priority. And I’ve come a long way with it.
But I’m not feeling this isolation is healthy and although I’ve been 7 months sober from alcohol I still struggle with marijuana. I want to participate more in reality I think it would make me feel better but I don’t know how. It feels so uncomfortable to me when I do. Does anyone else ever feel this way? I feel so alone in this.
That is a big benefit of joining a local recovery group. I do AA, though surely there’s others if you rather.
I’m also very aware of how big a problem and warning sign isolation is for me. Meetings are great for getting my head in the right place, but also just for being around others.
Bonus, over time I’ve made some really great friends through it who’ve always got my back!
Thank you for sharing. I’ve been skipping over online meetings - was in a job where I was working 60-70 hours a week. However recently changed to a new job with less hours so I could spend more time with my son. Just getting back into online meetings today but still it’s behind a screen. In-person meetings aren’t an option at the moment as I can’t bring a child.
Oh that’s interesting I did not know that some meetings allow kids. My son is toddler though that doesn’t sit still and I’m stressed just thinking about what that would be like trying to manage him in a meeting.
I struggle with people, have no desire to hang out with friends. I honestly just don’t fit in. I enjoy casual encounters, short visits but nothing long. I actually enjoy being with myself. I have recently tried to be social and somehow starting teaching voice lessons again. I have a music background. It’s been nice, a couple days a week I get to do something I love. I don’t think I would be teaching if I was still drinking.
See what life unfolds for you, I truly believe life will let you know what to do…let the wind take you places, listen to what it says.