How do you tell someone how you are feeling

1

As you all now me and my husband are in a little tiff let’s gust call it that

And I’m trying very very hard because he wants to fix it so I’m planning on giving him one more chance but thing is my parents but mostly my mom are making that very difficult

She wants to see him in some way in a punished but thing is it’s between me and my husband and now buddy else but she love to make my life harder like telling me she thinks I need to leave him and move back in with her stuff like that

But thing is I left my mothers house like 3 maybe 4 years ago for a reason I wasn’t happy and in a way she was very controlling so in a way she’s been drilling me to come home with my son lately because she doesn’t like my husband at all so any little thing that happens between me and him she always finds a way to make it about her and always tells me and who ever at the time what she wants to happen about the matter

She’s always try’s to brake any kinda relationship up in my life boyfriend or friends and now my husband it’s so frustrating because I put my foot down and said to her the other day I literally can’t do anything for myself or whatever without her huvering over me and she gust doesn’t like when I do that

And then she goes so long without talking to me and then she calls me like a month later after us fighting and say straight away say how come you haven’t called or text me for so long

I’m gust so confused I gust don’t know how to tell anybody how I feel without it fucking up my life in some weird way so if anyone has any suggestions that will be quite helpful because I’m really struggling and gust so tired of gust being pushed around in all directions

5 Likes
2

Generally try to stick to “I” statements, instead of “you” statements. Your feelings, the impact on you - try to avoid casting accusation or blame, even if warranted. It’s hard, with the other party being your mother, but you need to be prepared to stand by your boundaries - even if it means walking away. Hopefully doesn’t come to that. You could opt to continue the relationship with her but be extremely selective about what you tell her about your life and how much you include her in it.

Another option is family therapy or similar. Sometimes it helps to have a neutral, trained professional to help you get through your issues together.

(Assuming) you are a grown adult - your mother doesn’t get to run your life for you. Nobody does.

7 Likes
3

You should google narcissistic mother relationships.

You need to break free from being dominated and manipulated and learn to make your own decisions according to what benefits you, not someone else.

Best of luck!

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Whether it’s dealing with unwanted romantic interest or a controlling mother, remember “No” is a complete sentence. You can tell her to butt out of your marriage, and you can stop giving her details about it. As long as you engage her, she will continue to encroach.