How do you get through avoiding the after work martini once you get home from the office? How do you fill the evenings to avoid doing that?
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If you want to not drink, an AA meeting is a good safe place to be.
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Hi Audrey, welcome.
There is a book called this Naked mind by Annie Grace. Its about how to control alcohol, she describes the feeling of relaxation coming once she reaches for the glass in the cupboard.
Not actually the alcohol.
Also you can ride out the ‘wave’ the feeling of wanting a drink.
You could read, listen to a podcast, watch TV, eat chocolate and drink tea. Elderflower cordial.
It’s about breaking a routine you have gotten into.
I know the exact feeling you are talking about, it passes eventually. Will power is a muscle the more you use it the stronger it becomes.
Thanks
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One of the meetings at my local clubhouse is called Happy Hour because it starts at 530
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In the beginning I filled my life outside of work with a lot of activities. I walked roughly 5 miles a day, taught my self how to cook from scratch, got chores caught up that I never did because I was drunk. I tried new things, things I always wanted to do…but couldnt…because drinking got in the way.
I also dedicated 1 to 2 hours a day. This was time spent reading everything I could about alcoholism and addictions. I read things on PTSD, and self improvement.
All that got me to 89 days sober. I knew I wouldnt make it any farther, so I went to AA meetings.
Getting sober is about re learning how to live. It’s a new world, fill it with what ever you want that will make you a better person.
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I don’t avoid, i rather try to prevent it. AA meeting is the best in this situation. Online AA meetings helped me too, i just joined random meeting and spoke there, powerful thing against cravings.
Also watching series in the evening hepls me, crocheting helps.
I need relief and joy, without alcohol i try to find it in other things, and i wait for them (be it AA meeting or watching youtube and eating, or going to gym and feeling endorphines) as i waited for the moment i can drink.
About preventing. Starting a day with reading this community and posting something, doing tasks for my recovery program, sometimes praying - this morning routine helps me now. At least today.
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Welcome Audrey,
Take a shower!!
I loved cocktail hour.
Martini time.
My first month or so I would take my second 5 pm or happy hour shower. Usually about 20-30 minutes long. As hot and scalding as I could take it. I was so pissed off I cannot drink like a normie. I would relax. Sometimes cry. Many times cry 
And just let that hot water pour down on me. It was a fucking hard first month.
Then I’d come downstairs pour a glass of my favorite sparkling water into my favorite wine glass. And cook a nice relaxing meal.
A meeting would be good too.
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Meetings are indeed a great option.
Just in general, that’s a whole hour (which for me turned into a whole night…) you can be doing ANYTHING else. What do you want to do you haven’t in a while?
Hit a meeting. Take a walk or exercise. Clean the house. Read a book. Watch a movie.
Just don’t drink!
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I started off with taking walks. Then I felt healthy and productive. I also stocked up on seltzer water. Seems to help when I’m cooking dinner instead of wine.
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