How are you feeling lately? Where are you in your recovery? What are your obstacles right now?
Let’s open up 
(even if we’re afraid to.)
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Loneliness, major loneliness. The craving to drink comes and goes, but it would be great to have a gal friend who is going through the same stuff I am and watch TV with me and eat ice cream.
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Tired…alone…suicidal…feeling…defeated
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I feel anxious about the new year.
What makes you feel like hurting yourself?
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I feel good and positive about the new year. However i know my drug usage comes and goes in waves and i havent been able to be sober for more than 307 days. I almost always tend to relapse in the beginning of summer and close to christmas. Im happy now but i know that the stress of life, work and family will hit me at one point of my life in the future and i will end up looking to get high. I guess at least being aware of all this will give me an advantage over the addiction?
I hope everyone has a great 2020 full of good things 
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Try not to feel suicidal. Its not worth it. If you feel you are alone and have no one to talk to, stick around and talk to us here. We are all in the same boat, open minded people willing to help each other. I’m sending you lots of good energy and hoping you will have a better 2020 
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In my head I am in constant turmoil and I dont want to participate in the rollercoaster ride anymore. I don’t want to die. I just dknt want to be how I am anymore. And no matter how hard I try it always cycles round and I’m tired of the effort I have to put I to avoid just doing it.
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What type of turmoil ?
Perhaps a solution can formulated?
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I have BPD and a predisposition to emotional sensitivity, so good or bad I feel things in an innapropriate intensity. I recently became a Christian and my sins kill me I cant stop. I know that’s normal but it makes the turmoil worse. I cant think or read or process. I just feel…chaotic
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Dear Stacey,
I’ve read a few of your posts since you started here in this amazing fellow-ship (we’re all in the same boat lol). It’s clear you have been on a rollercoaster. This is to remind you of something you wrote a while back:
I hear your pain, the BPD, the noise of the “committee meeting in your head” and the sense of failure at not getting out of the hamster wheel cycle (sorry if all these metaphors are OTT! )
Hang in there, this pain will pass.
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Pretty stoked , on day 2 … it’s been awhile since I got 2 days. Have my moments but just taking it easy and greatful to be clean. Also greatful to the community here , it’s awesome to just check in during the day and remember I’m not alone in my struggles 
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Christianity is a good .
Its mot about feeling bad about not being perfect,but accepting who you are an improving yourself as best you can.
I use to read my bible everyday an i relized that the people of faith bac then went through hardships like we go through in the present.
Mostly it was others who sin worse who come together to belittle someone who made lesser mistakes.
Some sins or greater than others.
The Bible is your text book.the older the version the better cause its more truth in it.
Have you tried reading the Psalms of King David.
They inspired me in hard times
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@Swam look into articles regarding self forgiveness. I struggled with this quite a bit. It’s not ignoring what happened, it’s about accepting and how to continue to move forward.
@Jane.c. I’ve been struggling with a solid sleep pattern too, it’s horrible. I was just discussing when my mom died with my sister the other day. Moving forward we are only going to talk about the good times, not centering on the end…if this makes sense. We also were in agreement that our lives were better knowing her. For me, once sleep is back on track, my emotions follow. Sorry as well for your loss.