Long story short - I am 26 year old from India.
I suffer from severe anxiety, depression, panic attacks,IBS ( Irritable bowel syndrome), insomnia, migrane headaches, some balance issues as well.
I am a porm addict since age 17. From 2011 to 2015 i was a regular porn collector and distributor, the worst thing i ever did. It gave me the HIGH i liked so badly.
I was regular into porn and masturbation. My dad passed away in 2015 and my porn habbit escalated to a new level then. I could not handle the loss of my dad, so i used porn to deal and numb my emotions. My acting out habit lead me to a number of diseases i mentioned above. I feel like a looser. I have no job while my other college friends have moved on with their lives. I feel helpless and really wanna give up.
I suffered a nightmarish 7 months with pornography after my dad passed away. My family took me to number of doctors then and i am still on meds. I could not tell them that porn was the dirty little secret i used constantly to deal with myself.
Now i am still an addict to porn, but my habit has been reduced for last couple of years. I still acted out atleast 5 times a month to porn or more in the last 2 years.
Now my question is that will i be ever able to cure my anxiety depression and other disorders if i give up porn masturbation completely.?? Will things ever get better for me.?
I am already 10 days clean and looking forward to a sober journey…
DISCLAIMER…I know NOTHING about porn/sex addiction…but I do think addictions are addictions (for the most part)
Do you think that this addiction CREATED your anxieties or were you looking for places/activities to comfort your anxieties?
I highly doubt that just getting sober will make them go away. You do need a different therapy to address those issues. But doing it sober will allow you to be able to better pinpoint on the real sources of your anxiety.
I agree with VSue. Sometimes your addiction secret causes your depression and anxiety. In AA one of the steps is to do a moral inventory of yourself and share it with one other person and Your higher power which may be God. I did this step with my therapist. After devaluing all of my secrets I was holding in I had a major reduction in anxiety and depression. By bringing what is in the dark to light you can begin to forgive yourself and heal. This is merely what worked for me. I wish you well hang in there.
Thanks a lot for your valuable reply. I really want to live peacefully. Sometimes i think that i am going to die but yes God saved me.
Yes i think my addiction created anxiety and then i used my addiction to deal with anxiety. It was quite a vicious cycle.
I feel myself so dysfunctional unable to keep a job actually.
What kind of therapy will be good?. I am willing to do anything to get better and be sober…
Thank You so much for your reply. I am in SA as well. I am yet to reach 4rth step
I dont think actually these steps work for me. I need to get this feeling out of my chest.
I wanna stay sober no matter what. I already messed things so much.
Thanks again…i will try to do that…
Actually what i do is just write about my anxiety and depression and burn then page…i dont know if that helps
There are websites for therapist and they list their specialties. Find one that specializes in area of need. Addiction takes ahold of us and it is hard to let go of the familiar even when you know you should.
Only recovering addicts can really help other addicts. If there is no Pornography Anonymous in your area, try Narcotics Anonymous which is the strongest Fellowship on addiction, regardless of what you are addicted to. You will meet people there with the same issues you have, who can share their experience with you and offer you a new, healthy way of life.