I had an invite to go out with friends tonight to see a band at a bar. I said no. ( In My head it was No Fucking way! ) I am just not ready. Honestly dont
know when or if I will be. Going to a bar just sitting there not drinking and having to shout over everyone seems awful. In the past, any excuse to go out and drink was enough.
Anyone else able to go back out after some time? I want to socialize, but honestly being at a bar seems terrible to me.
I do have plans to go kayaking tomorrow, which I am really looking forward to.
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It took me a year.
I’m also a gigging musician amateur adult. I didn’t do anything for almost a year out of fear.
Short story I met a lady, and we started chatting I said that I didn’t drink, so she asked why I said well cause I’m a raging alcoholic that’s why. She was a drinker, and asked if I minded so I said no. Sne said If I got too uncomfortable to tell her we could leave.
We went out every Friday before I went to work to check out the local music scene. And every Monday to another local place for trivia night I wouldn’t drink alcohol, instead had a coke or whatever.
It really depends on you, how comfortable you feel. Do I think I could have went earlier sure, but things to take note of
- Have a accountability partner
- Have an escape plan if you get uncomfortable
- Realize the environment your in
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It was situational: the people, the place, the event, and where my head was at. Roughly at a year, I didnt have to over think it.
Good job on protecting your sobriety!
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This is awesome! We need to remember that we, in most cases, don’t owe anyone our time and we certainly are not obligated to risk our sobriety for their entertainment.
It took me a couple of months before I could go out to dinner with wife and kids and feel comfortable. I didn’t go out on my own for about 3 months. It was December, I flew to So. Cal solo, and that was, not hard but I was ultra aware.
My first wedding was around 5 months sober, and turned out to be a sober wedding, that was fun!
After about 6 months I was able to pretty much handle any situation I found myself in, but you’d never find me in a bar, so there’s that.
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I waited 1 year to go back to restaurants I’d drink at. I waited 3 months to go out with people who were drinking in general, and to this day I cannot sit with someone who is drinking white wine.
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I went out with some homies about a month after I got sober, old boy got soused pretty good, stayed sober. Went to the Sevendust show last week with the same broski, he and the others got pretty shitty, I stayed sober and I got everyone home safely. The show was awesome!
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Sevendust?
Officially jealous I haven’t seen them in years
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Played the entire Animosity album, was fanfuckintastic
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Thanks for like not making my night. Damn
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I can’t go to a bar and just sit there watching other people drink. In that environment I would lose it. Plus, when I start craving alcohol I get fidgety, anxious and I straight out turn into a jerk. My attitude totally changes… we call it my “crave-a-tude”. There would be no way that I could belly up to a bar, grab a stool, watch others drink and drink diet coke without losing my head. I wouldn’t break down and drink but whoa boy, my crave-a-tude would be in its full ugliness! So, I drive myself when we go somewhere so I can cut out when it gets to be too much. I also avoid any place that resembles some of my favorite watering holes and if I go to a bar, it’s not really just a bar per say. I go to large open areas where there are opportunities to do other things like bowling, shuffleboard, volleyball, listening to bands etc… anything to occupy my mind.
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4.5 yrs since rehab and I have yet to go back into a bar. Don’t need to, I spent enough time, money & liver cells there. And, I’m pretty sure they haven’t changed much either.
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I feel you, it’s horrible!
The shouting/ not being able to hear, the dross conversation, the emptying of your wallet, sticking to the floor, queuing, getting jostled by crowds.
Save your money for new hobbies!
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I would go to a bar like twice a year. I hate loud music, when I go out I want to TALK and not shout half sentences in my neighbours ear. I long ago started to prefer brunch, lunch, coffee, dinner, billiards, darts, bowling, hanging around on someone’s deck, having BBQ, sitting in the garden or some park … I’m not into sports, I’m a take it easy person who loves to talk. Most of my friends are happy with brunch or coffee in the afternoon, I haven’t been out in the evening for a long time exept for dinner. When I’m honest and tell them I normally go to bed by 9 pm most of them grin and are happy to cut off the evening early themselfs 
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