How many times did you say were going be sober till you actaully got sober?
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I think I have uncountable times of trying to become sober by just trying to quit but not think trough in the āhowā.
They all failed after a few days, a week, sometimes a few weeks and then I started to drink again.
My more serious attempts where the one where I have made some kind of a plan and had a group of people behind me who could support me in it.
I think those attempts where 5(?) ore so in total.
Iām almost 12 years in recovery.
5 years sober, relapsed and more then 5 years sober today.
Happy where I am today! 
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Interesting Iām just seeing this as I am on tiktok watching a man talk about his struggle with alcoholism and how he started going to AA meetings two years before he actually got sober and it made me think of how I joined this app two years ago and I am just now feeling truly committed to sobriety, I have before and the longest I went was 2 months slipped then another 2 months. But something about this time I really feel confident in my decision. I want a year so bad!! And of course beyond that. 
one day at a time though.
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Thatās actually a really tough question 
I remember when I finally realized that my drinking was a serious problem, and had been the whole time. I remember this terrible want to quit, but also a huge part of me not believing it was possible. I remember not wanting to say it out loud for fear of failing. I didnāt know how to stop or what to do, so I just kept doing what I do best and drank about it. I drank with this desperation for 4 years, my disease getting worse. Until one, especially ugly day, I put my foot down.
5 months later, covid happened and I relapsed. After that, all I wanted was to quit again but couldnāt find whatever it was I found the first time. My resets during that time were immeasurable. Thereās 134 recorded resets, but I know there were many times I didnāt even bother hitting the buttom and closed the app for a long while. 3 more years of suffering, until I finally found the strength to quit again. 495 days ago. Never going back.
So, idk. Do I count every morning that I woke up hungover, promising myself I wasnāt going to drink that day but did? The few times Iād get up to a week, maybe more? Or is it just twice? Because I actually believed Iād be able to do it those times
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Iām truly proud of you guys! You guys are doing amazing.
Iām glad Iām not the only one who has failed and kept failing. I know I can do it , I want to do it! But yes, one day at a time.
I just feel like something hasnāt clicked for me to be and stay sober. Iāll go for a week to two weeks And then Iāll end up going off and regretting it.
Iāll know Iāll get there but its just a matter of when.
It really does help talking to people on here! Thank you guys for replying!
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I would say I tried to quit 20x before this current stint of 2 plus years sober. Most of my early attempts lasted less than a week. The change for me happened when I embraced the term alcoholic.
I am not bad at moderating, I am not reckless or a woman with a bad streak, I am an alcoholic. When I drink I donāt stop. Not the first night maybe or the night after but eventually I will drink all the alcohol available to me. Again and again, if Iām allowed.
Realizing this changed the game for me. Iāve embraced the term and modified my behavior accordingly. I can only control myself around my first drink, as long as I donāt drink that first drink I canāt drink the next 10. If a sip of alcohol passes these lips I have lost any control of the ship. This makes it easy to avoid that first sip.
Iām not faulty, or weak or wayward, Iām an alcoholic.
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Good question this and when i think about it id say at least 15 times,the last 3 times i could feel i was getting closer and closer to my goal.
I kept learning how to ignore the triggers,the urges and the boredom.
But most of all it was the 2 words āDAY ONEā that i hated most and the way it made feel when i had relasped and had to start again.
Hopefully ill never have to deal with the 2 words ever again.
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I could not put it more eloquently.
āāāāāā-
For most of the sober people who I know, it took different amounts of time. For most folks, it was not their first quit that was their last quit.
Why are you asking? Are you looking to find out if youāre ānormalā? Are you looking for an excuse to return to drinking? I know that when I was not yet done drinking, I would use information like that to justify my drinking - āJoe didnāt quit until he was 40, and Iām only 35, so I can keep drinkingā, things like that. The other danger I put myself in was not valuing those single digit days - I would often think that because I had been dry for two days or five days that it would not matter if I drank again. What I did not look at was that I could stay dry for those three or so days, but then I would drink again for 3 or more weeks or 3 or more months. I never did succeed at staying dry for a week then pitching a binge for just a couple of days.
If thinking and logic can still help to deter you from drinking, remember that every time we go back out, we are rolling the dice and taking the chance that it could be the last time we go back out. We can end up in prison, in a long-term care facility for a brain injury, we can end up dead, we can end up never getting dry again. But if youāre like me, you might acknowledge that these things are possible, perhaps even likely (especially that part about going to jail), and choose to be helpless. My most frequently uttered prayer was āI hope I get away with it this timeā.
Iāve been sober since I woke up 90 minutes ago this morning. I have taken actions to help me stay sober today. Getting to the other end of today, to lay a sober head on my pillow tonight, that is still the single most important thing I will do with my life. Ever. Because nothing else is possible for me if I do not get to bedtime sober tonight.
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Thank you for this topic @Dr.z. And I can so much relate to these posts, answers as far as number of attempts and relapses are concerned. What I for example need to embrace is a fact alcoholic addiction is a disease, Iām simply sick in my head and need to adapt to key concept āone day at a timeā. Plus PLAN is extremely important. Because no matter if you fail your plan there always is on e.g.white board next day ready for your next commitment. With self love and overcoming your fears (great book for this is the one from Stutz) it will click once,sooner or later.
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I tried lots of timesā¦mostly half arsed attempts a few weeks here a few weeks there never for myself always because i was being told to or because id done something to shame myself into stoppingā¦when i look back now i see those times as just me still being in active addictionā¦it wasnt until i had a thoroughly rock bottom moment and facing the prospect of losing my precious daughter that i reached out to this community and threw myself wholeheartedly into sobriety for myself and my daughterā¦that was 666 day ones ago so i believe now ive only tried to get sober properly the once
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Never gave it a thought till i was beat sick of being sick went to AA first time i had admitted i had a problem never looked back still sober
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Like others so poignantly said, I couldnāt count the times I promised myself never again, only to drink again a few hours, days later. I knew I had a problem in my late 20s. By my 50s my brain and soul were in turmoil ā¦ I wanted sobriety desperately, but couldnāt make the landing stick. That was years.
It wasnāt until I found this community and visited constantly and read and engaged that my days added up to weeks to months to years. No one was more astonished than me.
Every morning I wake up hangover and regret free, I remember all the mornings I didnāt and all the evenings I prayed for that life I led to end.
The thing I kept doing was working toward sobriety keeping it in my head, building up strength and knowledge little by little. Learning to believe in my ability to stay sober TODAYā¦the only day I have. Today I am sober. This minute I am sober. You are too.
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I have definitly lost count. I half ass attempt to get clean at age 16 at a youth treatment facility (this is when I knew I had a problem with drugs), but my first serious attempt at recovery was at age 21 and I got clean amd sober at age 37. Im 39 now. In between those years where alot of attempts being made to get clean. Some more serious than others. I think a big part of it is it I didnt kmow how to get clean. I disnt have the tools. Ive had various amounts of clean time during that time aswell. The past 2 years 4 months and 12 days have been the best recovery wise in terms of any other time I was clean. I think the biggest difference this time around was having support like this forum 
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Uncountable, I reset my counter every day for at least 9 months and I tried numerous attempts with sober stretches before and after.
Never look back though tomorrow is a new day.
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Took me about 10 years. I thought I might have a problem with alcohol in my early 30ās. It was confirmed in my mid 30ās. I wanted to quit for that whole decade, but wasnāt until I turned 40 that I decided to really try to quit. Before then, I soft quit hundreds of times, only to come back after the hangover went away or had a mildly disagreeable day.
Rarely do people get it right on their first try, I know I didnāt.
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I think it might have taken me approximately three or four very serious attempts.
When I say serious, I mean once I decided to put my heart into it and educate myself by reading sobriety books. By watching programs about the phases or teaching sobriety and made proper effort to make changes in my life.
Any attempts before then, I just thought it would magically happen if I wanted it to, clearly that didnāt work and was never going to.
My first couple of serious attempts failed at approximately the one month stage, maybe just after the pink cloud had worn off? Or I got got bored out thought it was fixed or something?.
I remember when a month seemed impossible and huge!?
My last and final failure was approx a year or so into sobriety, when this boss with small man syndrome at my work shouted at me and made a fool of me and I used it as an excuse to drinkā¦ After that happened I was gutted that such a stupid man had been the reason I broke my sobrietyā¦ It lasted approximately a week or so, and then I just realised - never again will I let that happen, never again will I let someone elseās actions be the excuse for me to break my sobriety
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I quit the first time 30 years ago. I only made it to 90 days once until now. Now, I am on Day 179.
I know pretty much everything written and/or talked about regarding alcohol. Knowledge didnāt win. Action wins.
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I donāt know how many times I said I would/wanted/should/needed to get sober, thousands maybe. This is my first serious attempt, serious in that Iāve made an effort to understand why I drank, how drink reacts with the brain & body etcā¦ I had 4 earlier attempts but I was a dry drunk those times rather than being sober. Iām still new to sobriety (just over 5Ā½ months) but itās already worth it.
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I reckon I said to myself Iād stop drinking tomorrow over a thousand times. I think Iāve genuinely tried maybe 4 or 5 times (and uncountable half arsed attempts) before itās stuck, Iām at 100 days now. I just wasnāt ever ready. It helped when I read āthis naked mindā too, but I wonāt say thatās the only reason I quit.
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