Lately I’ve been looking at the stack of Amazon boxes slowly building up in the corner of our apartment…
I’ve always been a girl who liked to keep herself looking nice but as of lately I’ve found myself being a little extra and I think it may have to do with my new found sobriety.
Shopping never was really an issue for me as I’ve always considered myself pretty savy when it came to spending, mostly shopping thrift shops or stores like Walmart.
Today, I’ve already spent 120$ on clothes and makeup from online shopping and this will mark my 3rd week of packages from Amazon.
I would say I’m spending about 300 every other week, should I be concerned? Or will this pass?
I’m torn because on one hand I feel I am treating myself for working hard and being able to buy things I want; on the other hand, I feel it might be the start of something a little compulsive. I don’t want to trade addictions for bad habits ya know?
Buuuuut I’d being lying if I said I wasn’t happy getting new things.
I totally understand and you deserve to be happy and spend money on yourself and self care, i definitely think im going slightly over board. I think if you start spending and it starts affecting your bills etc… then maybe its too much.
Its hard because it is nice to buy stuff
You first get sober. and then boom. There’s a new influx of money we didn’t know we had, and now your like well one won’t hurt right? And then you have a hundred of things
I call mine GAS, Guitar Gear Acquisition Syndrome, I have stuff I’ll never use, but j have it. All together I have 11 guitars currently with 5 In my possession,
I learned to set a budget I write out my monthly expenses, ya know rent, utilities things like that, and then see what I have left over.
Then in the same list I have wants, kinda wants, things to save for, money for investing. And I pick one or two things off that list and go with it.
With summer coming I’m really wanting a new longboard… Lol I need to buy a car😂 I’m glad to know that this is kinda normal though. Guitars can be more of an investment in the right hands. Could be the difference in sound.
I went thru a shopping phase when I got clean. I would spend a lot of $$. I think it’s natural for us to want to treat ourselves, but for me anyway it was becoming a problem.
I realized after time that I was just trying to fill the “void” with other outside sources. Bcuz I wasn’t using drugs to try and make myself feel better, I used shopping or sex or esthetic procedures or exercise or basically anything that made me remotely feel good. It was a switch of addictions for me. Idk if u can relate. I mean ultimately u aren’t using drugs or drinking. But only u can determine why your shopping more than usual or even if it is a problem for u. If it isn’t causing problems (other things not being paid for or causing u to go into debt), Idk if i would worry about it too much. We change and grow in recovery all the time. So it very well could be phase
I definitely spent a bit too much in early sobriety. I still probably could use to cut back a bit (cycling gear is my weakness) but I try to just make more conscious decisions now. Opting for getting as much local as possible or from small businesses and focusing on saving up for a quality item over quantity cheap things I don’t necessarily need has helped me be less compulsive.
Been saving 100 bucks a month for the past 3 months since I’ve been sober and taking it out in cash as a reminder of how much money I would have spent on booze, spent pretty much all of it today on a Milwaukee shop vac to clean my car and other miscellaneous items. I usually frantically clean things if I have high anxiety or my depression is bad. My dad always taught me if my mind is racing to do something with your hands and that should help. Having a tough day. All that did was make me feel guilty for spending the money. I don’t think this is the answer. Just wanted to share. Keep on keepin on everybody! Much love.
Yeah…
I’m totally guilty of mass purchasing. I agree with @Butterflymoonwoman that I’m searching to fill a void. I’m trying to get better. My vinyl collection has really exploded
So, like @Fury I’m putting together a list a vinyl that I want and every 10 days of sobriety my wife said I can buy a record. We will see how this goes?
It hasn’t passed and I’m becoming concerned. I have packages arrive every few days, sometimes daily. My recycle bin used to be full of bottles, now it’s Amazon boxes and bubble wrap.
I just bought a new guitar, my 14th guitar… the problem is, I didn’t tell my wife about it. That’s a no no for me. That is crossing the line from frivolous spending to straight up addict behavior.
It becomes a problem when you start hiding boxes, arranging deliveries so no one will see, lying about what you bought and/or how much it cost. All things I’m guilty of.
Should you be concerned? Maybe, probably but definitely possibly.
I go through waves. Right now I’m definitely buying more clothes. I still love the comfort of my cozy COVID wardrobe but I’m also needing some fun and prettier stuff. But I also know that I can’t get too out of control.
I think only you can know what’s too much for you. It depends on many factors that are personal (like how much money can you afford to spend!!).
