When I do routine tasks, I feel more structured. I have gone to both online and in person meetings and have not had great experiences. Once I started my current job and wasn’t able to make it to my home meetings anymore, the “friends” I made there stopped talking to me. So I was like fuck em- I’ll try something else.
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I really like it. The only thing is it’s a lot of dense info and I have to re read a lot so I can understand and retain as much as possible. I also need to get a notebook so I can make bulleted notes.
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She repeats the same things over and over in different ways so try to just listen the first way through and then if you need to, so a second listen and write it down.
I sometimes look back at all my years of partying in excess and ponder why didn’t I stop sooner. It’s not like alcohol ever did anything good for me…It’s obvious I was only thinking of myself with no consideration of how my overuse of alcohol was harming myself and causing collateral damage to those around me. It’s a very selfish way to act…
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Same- with the dangerous decisions. It’s a miracle I’m still here and not dead or in prison.
I started journaling again and have given myself a checklist of things to do every day.
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I agree. But alcohol is “baffling and cunning”. It’ll have us talking ourselves into throwing logic out the window.
Just over two years ago, I lost a dear friend to cancer. She was in her forties and left behind a husband and two kids under eight. I went to see her in her final days, when she was in and out of sleep a lot. But she was awake that time, and as I was helping her get comfortable she asked me “Why is this happening to me?” I’m sure she felt all the unfairness of it, dying of something she had not in any way caused to herself, suffering through no fault of her own, leaving her children motherless. It was heartbreaking, and even though the weeks after her death were a time of relapse for me after a whole year’s sobriety, I thought of her question so much that it became one of the catalysts for starting my sober journey again that summer, and sticking with it for over 600 days by now. When my time comes, I don’t want the answer to that question to be “I brought this on myself, these are the consequences of my own choices”. I have a child as well, and I want to be there for him, as healthy as possible, for however long I’m given. This is, for me, a very powerful “why”.
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How you going egg?