Id say just focus on your sobriety, talk to him when the air is cleared let him know that you love him and dont want him killing himself or anyone else if he decides to drive after hes been drinking. Hopefully he wont have to damage too much more before he realizes that he could have a bigger problem than wrecking the car. Some self care for you would be great now. Good to ask for suggestions its a tough balance figuring out how to go about these kind of situations with out making things worse.
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Thank you. I actually never nag him at all for that reason. I tell him he can do what he wants, but I don’t want to be around it. In a calm and rational manner. I do not encourage him to quit at all for that very reason.
Now I am second guessing myself wondering if getting mad would be better.
We actually had plans for today, but he is MIA. So i am gonna go do something for myself.
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I’m sorry to hear this never good to be bailing on plans, hope all is well
But doing something for yourself will be enticing and enjoyable almost a self care
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Im sorry to hear your going through this 
I think its extra difficult if the other person doesnt acknowledge or realise they have a problem from drink, if they do know and are still doing them selves no favors they are scared to quit, scared to lose alcohol im sure we all went through this feeling of not wanting to let go of the alcohol, im glad not everyone gave up on me when i wasnt sober and learning my recovery.
I think its ok to support him as long as it doesnt hurt your sobriety, i cant really give too much info as I’m not a relationship or drug therapist but i beleive in your heart you will find a way that helps and i hope he embraces that for you both.
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You can support him tell him its hurting you and life would be better if he stopped , but my experience it will fall on deaf ears he has to make the choice just like you did when you decided to stop , powerless over others decisions and maybe a Al-Anon meeting would hurt might help
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My favorite Scot always has good advice.
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Being sober and married to someone who isn’t can be SO frustrating. Just like @SassyRocks says, you have to worry about you first. You can not worry about his 
before your own is cleaned up and taken care of. Worry about you, boo. You guys are either going to make it work or not, but don’t let his problems prevent you from being the best you you can be.
My husband and I grew apart for the first year and a half of my sobriety. He was doing what he wanted to do, and I was doing what I needed to do. We were on completely different trajectories. He even said to me once that he was upset he “lost his drinking buddy”.
He was drinking nightly, driving all over the damn city, and not giving a shit about my pleas for him to quit driving drunk. I would tell him “I dont care if you drink but QUIT EFFING DRIVING!”, it generally fell on deaf ears. I was going to therapy, and talking to sober people, and finding new friends and hobbies.
Somehow we came out the other side together, but it was hard. Some days are still hard.
Eventually his drinking calmed way down, and now he has a couple drinks a week. I am comfortable being in bars and music venues ( it was almost a year sober before I made outings to social gatherings) so hes always got a DD when I am there, though he has to deal with me wanting to go home and go to bed. 
I still have to bitch about him driving here and there, but if I offer to drop him off he takes up my offer more often than not. Will he have to wake me up for a ride home, or find a ride home? Yes. Will it save us potential fights and drunk driving problems? Also yes.
First things first though: worry about you and your sobriety. You are #1 in your world now and every single day you have to make that decision to keep yourself #1.
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Nice to see ya 
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Nice to see you 
I’ll DM you so We don’t hijack this thread.
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Ah welvome back!!!
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Regardless of how you feel about AA maybe reading the chapter “to wives” would help.
Happy to get such a warm welcome. Glad to see you are still around. I drop in here and there and read a few things but rarely comment anymore. @starsprinkle tagged me on this thread and I figured I should respond.
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I disagree. It seems she has let her feelings be known and for now thats all she can do.
She is early enough in her sobriety that the last thing she needs to worry about is yelling at someone else about their drinking. And he is likely not going to care much about what she says, because he is in active addiction. And we know how addicts are. How many times did people scolding you help the situation you were in?
He knows what hes doing is wrong. He is not going to change a damn thing until he decides to do it, and yelling at him is only going to strain things more. As a wife, she can be there for him, but she is not going to convince him to do anything by being crazy about his decisions that HE is making. But if she worries about herself and leads by example he might see there is a better way.
That is what we do here. We get sober, and then we lead others by being better and showing them that it can get better.
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