Cw: relationship issues so dont read if you dont want too
Too start off i was dating my girlfriend since April and she is bipolar. There were issues in beginning of our relationship as many people told me to leave her over being a “victim” even though I consented obviously(and im of age to be a legal adult??). But seriously there were many times I let her insult me practically and berate me for being friends with someone who told me to leave her or people who she didnt like. Im financially somewhat dependent with her so its quite worrisome she’s demanding why i was ignoring her for three days(I needed a mental health break to focus on what mattered to me.) Then in her explanation, I was ignoring her, not giving enough attention, she was crying over me not responding, then mentioned her exes giving her more attention. And of course mentioned breaking up because im not giving her enough attention as she states she did that to a past partner of hers. So im seriously wondering if I should end things as she doesn’t believe I’ll change my avoidant behavior.(avoidant attachment style i believe)
should I end up leaving, if you wanna ask a question dont mind answering but im seriously drained out of my mind with this relationship. I love her and she’s absolutely beautiful to me but honestly she was a cause for my recent relapses.
Edit: I forgot to mention she was asking if I loved her before mentioning breaking up to me many times. )
Glad you’re here! Look, it’s impossible to understand a relationship from the outside, but you said something that really caught my eye. You said she insults and berates you. That is not okay behavior. Even if she thinks she has a reason, even if she apologizes later…. that’s not okay and that’s not healthy. If it happened once and she apologized and then did the work on herself to make sure it didn’t happen again, maybe . But it doesn’t sound like that’s the case. I know there are a lot of things you love about her, but you’re asking strangers for advice, so I think you might know that, too.
I’ll also add that it’s worth getting sober for you. Don’t let her be an excuse. You can absolutely do this.
We’ve broken up actually an hour ago, and yes I realize her behavior was not at all okay. Im grateful you took the time to message actually and im definitely will get myself better to be a better role model for my little brother(little buddy who sees me as his older brother) and such but thank you!
I read your other posts, so I know that you guys already broke up…
But, it feels like the right decision to me. Obviously, we must be responsible for our own sobriety, but if she was treating you in ways that triggered you toward relapse… then she was toxic for your life health.
Take the time alone to work on yourself. Put in the work to become a better you. Then, in time, you will find someone who contributes TO your health rather than taking away FROM it…
