So I have been working hard on myself and have been really happy with the improvements generally, for myself and for my family. I just found out an acquaintance who was exhibiting concerning signs of addiction and faced significant ramifications due to their actions (to include separation from their children) has continued to post all about their DOC lifestyle.
I am so angry. I know it’s irrational, and I need to be supportive if/when they decide to change for themselves - but I can’t figure out why the emotion I’m experiencing is anger. I’m angry for their selfishness and how their kids are suffering. I am angry that they don’t seem to care. But why is all this making me angry??
What is the best way to handle this? What guidance have you received about these types of situations? I feel like a bad person for feeling angry
I think it’s more than just anger towards the person, it’s maybe some anger at the whole social media machine which glorifies lifestyles dominated by booze, drugs, designer clothes and handbags.
Like, hey… My life is a fucking mess lol but check these Nike’s that dropped. Don’t be hatin’ #mylife#youwishyouwereme
Personally, I fucking hate how shit people, who do shit things can “build a brand” on social media and become popular (which is not the same as being liked).
I think you are angry at your lack of control in the situation. Especially as someone who has been there (suffering in addiction) and come through the other side, the fact that you can’t make them do the same is infuriating.
Another thing to think about is anger is often called a secondary emotion, covering up something else, usually fear. Maybe you fear your own recovery weakening and ending up in a similar situation? Just my amateur psychology.
There’s a saying about keeping your side of the street clean. Basically it means to focus on you what YOU can control, yourself.
It’s ok to feel things when people you know, like and love are hurting themselves and/or their family, as long as you aren’t holding them to the same expectations you hold yourself to. As they say, expectations lead to disappointment which leads to resentment.
I’ve had those moments myself, “friends” promoting an unhealthy lifestyle in exchange for likes (dopamine), and I got mad. When I get mad, I really think about it, why am I mad? It’s almost always about expectations, I see the light and they don’t sorta thing.
