So I have this friend I was supposed to see today to pickup my birthday gift, but last night I remember I think he said he was getting me a cocaine spoon for my bday… I really don’t want to risk relapsing. I know myself well enough that:
If I see this guy, who is a big kethead, and considering that we have done cocaine together a few weekends ago, I feel like it puts me at risk of relapsing. Even if he doesn’t tempt me to use, I know myself well enough that I will end up fiending for cocaine anyway and won’t really be able to control it as good because I’m outside with my friend.
I feel like if he’s actually getting me a cocaine spoon for my bday like I think he is, it will just tempt me to use cocaine.
How can I tell this guy that I cannot meetup today or accept his birthday gift at the moment due to these reasons? I am worried that it will upset him if I don’t accept his bday gift, but at the same time I realize I need to put my sobriety above everything to achieve long-term sobriety. Even just going outside to see my friends minus the cocaine spoon bday gift seems to always trigger me to want to use cocaine.
I’m not looking for excuses. I’m guessing I have to tell him I can’t meetup today, and I will tell him this if I have to but I just wanted to get the opinions of people here to make sure I’m doing the right thing by telling him I can’t meetup right now. I’m also asking my addiction therapist for his opinion. Thanks
I love how you came to a solution at the end of your post. Its 100% ok to say you cant meet up. You have every right to protect your sobriety! If you dont feel comfortable telling this friend why you cant meet up then just leave it as you cant meet up this week.
Thanks everyone For now since I didn’t feel comfortable using the sobriety as the reason (although I will in the future if it comes up again), instead I used the fact that my grandma passed away earlier this week as the excuse for now to at least not meetup this weekend. If he asks again to meetup I’ll just tell him that I gotta stay home and not see my friends for a while to protect my sobriety, as it has to come first. I know that even just going and seeing my friends is enough to trigger intense cocaine cravings, even if they don’t tempt me, since I’m still only 1 week sober. Hopefully one day in the future I can see them again, but if not so be it.
Awesome job! Yeah i didnt hangout with friends for awhile in early sobriety cuz i was just dealing with the rollercoaster of early sobriety and didnt want to be triggered in a moment of weakness.
Thanks @Cjp I really appreciate it Just curious: how long would you say you had to not see your friends for? What was your drug of choice? For me it’s cocaine, I used to use 1.5g to 3.5g every day a year or two ago during the addiction at its peak. Just curious what your usage was like so that I can kinda get a time frame on how long it will be until my brain is normal enough to be able to see friends again, if that ever happens.
I think u made the right decision I love ur self awareness in the fact that u know what some of ur triggers are. I had used cocaine and crack for years and i also distanced myself from people that used or that were triggering for me. To be honest… me being in recovery and with them continuing using drugs, we sort of became distant. Turns out i really didnt have much a friendship with them outside of using drugs. We didnt have that common ground anymore. Its hard to say really when u will get to the point that u wont find ur friends triggering. But u may find that being around other sober people more satisfying. Meetings are great for developing healthier friendships
Thanks @Butterflymoonwoman Yeah I’m thinking I will probably need to recommit to Narcotics Anonymous and Cocaine Anonymous and see if I can get some in-person meetings to make healthier friendships, probably also through SMART Recovery (although I think SMART Recovery has some weird rules around connecting with other recovering addicts sadly). I think I’ll join some meetings today and see if I can start connecting with other recovering addicts
Congrats on quitting both crack and cocaine btw! I’ve never tried crack, but I’ve been offered it before. Thankfully when I was offered it, I literally said “NOPE!” so loud and didn’t do it because I knew how hooked I’ve been on coke. I couldn’t imagine having to get sober from crack. That’s really great that you got sober from it; it gives me hope that I can get sober from my cocaine addiction as well, thanks
Hey @john_connor1337 my doc wasnt cocaine but alcohol and weed. Alot of my “friends” were just booze and party people. When we took that out the equation i realized we had no love or anything in common.
I started making friends in the room of aa. Reconnected with those sober ppl who i thought were boring when i was using in time. Dont rush it. I laid low until i was ready to brave the world. Breaking old habits and routines were my number 1 priority
Yes, you are absolutely doing the right thing by not meeting up with someone who you used to use with, and who is going to give you a tool to use with. That tells me this person will expect to use with you. You don’t have to tell him why you can’t meet up. Just make up an excuse. Protect your sobriety.
For now since I didn’t feel comfortable using the sobriety as the reason (although I will in the future if it comes up again), instead I used the fact that my grandma passed away earlier this week as the excuse for now to at least not meetup this weekend. If he asks again to meetup I’ll just tell him that I gotta stay home and not see my friends for a while to protect my sobriety, as it has to come first. I know that even just going and seeing my friends is enough to trigger intense cocaine cravings, even if they don’t tempt me, since I’m still only 1 week sober. Hopefully one day in the future I can see them again, but if not so be it.