How do you let your sponsor know that he or she hurt your feelings about someone you are living with in a sober living house?
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This so called SOBRIETY is a journey for everyone. My sobriety is not perfect but it is something that is very fragile.
My mouth has gotten the best of me and sometimes i forget that I need to keep my mouth in check. My attitude. I too have slipped up AS A SPONSOR. If you care for your sponsor, and the way it sounds, you do. Let them know that what they said was not good.
If you don’t, I, as A sponsor will not and will never know i offended you. Then i am the one who has become toxic.
On the other hand, IS/WAS the sponsor trying to get you upset to address a problem?
There is no TRUE sponsor guide. Help him to help you be the better sponsor you need.
What you learn now as the sponsee could roll over into a toxic sponsor you could become later
Don’t let this event cause you to remain bitter to the idea of this particular person as your sponsor. Maybe he’s working things as well. We all could use a course correcting sometimes
Maybe, just maybe Get good on this (with the sponsor )or get away from (the sponsor)
Hopefully i helped and not hurt this situation.
Maybe i needed to hear your original dilemma and get right to.
Thanks for sharing
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Thanks for your kind words and response. I am always honest with my sponsor about a matter or situation. The thing is that my living situation with a roommate that i go to meetings with. WE are not getting along and it is affecting my mental health and causing problems in the house. I have asked him to stop, and i have even had my sponsor talk with his sponsor about the matter. It’s still goies on… I have left the house for hours just so that i can remain calm.
I am having a problem with a roommate that I am living with. It was said to me from my House Manager that i am an outsider and that everybody got along before i came (as if he was stating that i am or are the problem). I even talked to the House coordinator about what he said to me, which makes me feel uncomfortable for being here. I have even told my sponsor to call his sponsor and ask for him to leave me alone. This guy still torments me and i have done nothing but be nice and kind to him from day one.
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I’m going to ask this,
First off, if i come across as NOT HELPFUL i will delete this specific reply. My wife says that i come across harsh. I do not intend to do this. I work hard on my speech patterns
So here goes.
Does this other guy, the sponsor and his guy, have anything to do with you being at this house Is there any reason you are still involved with their interactions with you? Besides being in sober house, in group, involved in therapy? Is there any reason you continue to interact with them
This is why i ask
We don’t always get to GET UP AND LEAVE toxic people
But we do get to learn how to deal with these people and the problems
Take notes on yourself
I give you my strength. I give you my hope
And if i were a super hero like captain America i would give you my shield
Don’t evaluate your self worth and your sobriety on their crap
Do this for you
My sobriety/ your sobriety – is what is important here.
Use these obstacles in your sobriety to your fullest benefit.
I have 21 years sobriety i will admit not all of them were super clear headed thinking. I get brain fog cloudy thinking because of brain injuries
But i do recognize that I’m new to sobriety
OF MEAN THINKING
THANKFULLY, I’m 4 months free of pissed off outbursts
On your new journey, learn how to remove toxic people by Journaling
I’m here
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