How to get over difficult time

[Jana1988]

Hello all.
I am going through very difficult time. I am sober for 7 months and I was experiencing a pink cloudfor good 3 to 4 months of my sobriety. Life was amazing! I was successfully not drinking. I got promoted in my new job, I had the biggest holiday of my life and so there were so much enthusiasm and excitement in my life. Sober life looked perfect to me and I never wanted those mega happy feelings to dissapear. But…they did…

After some time I started to be anxious in my new role in work, if I do everything right. Also travelling every day to and from work for 2 hours each way started also little bit suck. Now all the Corona virus going on. I am living in UK, having all my family back in Czech. They were suppose to come over in April, now nobody knows when we will meet again. I am quite depressed, even more because my boyfriend’s brother decided to take his girlfriend and join us in their mother’s - only two bedroom - house. He had fevers and I didn’t agree him to come, but I have no word here. Fortunatelly it looks like he is ok, but we are 5 people in this small house. I can see how my boyfriend’s brother is pissed off me, because I said that I don’t want him and his girlfriend to be using our bed in our room as a place where to relax during the day. So they are stuck in the living room where everybody is spending a day and so they’re having a zero privacy. I can see how difficult it is for them, too, but it was their decission to come, knowing all circumstances.
Yesterday, they invited over some their friend. Now, when nobody should be visiting. Me and my boyfriend are working from home, so it is 24hrs/day all together in one small house. Everybody has own habits, different time to wake up/ go sleep…you all certainly know how it is to be sharing space.
Believe me, I am getting mad and all this is reminding me why I used to drink. Situation like this seems to be easier get over when I could be drunk…

BUT!

It wouldn’t be a solution, would it? All the depression which alcohol brought to me whenever I got sober after drinling, was much worse than this. It is hard, I sometimes cry and feel fu*king powerless, but I CAN cope, because I am strong. And because there are worse things in the world.
I want never forget all I had to go through when I used to drink. My life was horible.

So instead of drinking, I decided to accept all the situation I am in and all these things which are happening to me. And I decided to think about them. To take and learn all I can from it all.
And I started meditations. I have never really meditated because I have not seen a reason why people do it.
I am finding a peace when I manage to calm down my thoughts and neutralize them. I am allowing myself to ask questions, because there are answers in the silence, coming just from my heart.
When I meditate, I can hear myself much better and I am realising who I am and what I want.
I love myself and I became to be my own accompability partner. I don’t care if I look crazy, but I talk to myself like to my friend if I feel I need a support.
Meditation and remembering all the things I went through and all I have achieved, gives me a power to go through my life no matter what.
Just stay positive and calm. World is not about enthusiastic happiness, but about balance and calm mind

PS: This all was originally a comment to one of the topics here but I actually wanted to share it as my own topic.

[anon13078412]

This sounds like a difficult and frustrating thing to experience, I’m not sure if you asked for advice but I’ve time that I would definitely do would be to have a private chat with your boyfriend making sure they do not hear.
I would explain that the situation with them isn’t ideal but it is his family so you agreed to it and are getting along as well as you are able to. I get that they have no privacy but that doesn’t mean that your should allow them to use your bedroom and bed for privacy that’s a line that should never be crossed, I would then explain that around them to stay in your home at any time let alone during this virus is one thing but for them to invite friends over when people are not allowed to or meant to have visitors in their home is wrong and downright irresponsible. We are meant to be adhering to the rules set by other government to try and stop this virus From spreading, it actually annoys me that they have done that so I can’t imagine how you feel.
If you can explain that calmly to your bf he should understand. People are dying every day because this time is spreading from actions like this.
Rant over sorry, I do hope you can find some peace and serenity in this situation m8.

[Meggers]

Wow! That is a lot! First of all, congrats on your 7 months! That’s a HUGE accomplishment!

Boundaries are essential to sobriety and recovery. This sounds hard in your current situation, but I’m glad you are being firm about your boundaries. Once we start letting people cross them it’s a downhill slope. Have you set rules for them? Like, if you bring people over you will have to go live in a hotel? This is your space (well, you and your boyfriend’s) and if they want your hospitality then they should adhere to your rules, NOT take advantage of your kindness. If they are uncomfortable, well, it’s up to them to decide if this is the situation they really want to be in. You can only give so much!

Thank you for sharing your story about the pink cloud. The fall from that causes so many people to relapse. I think we need more people to share their success and resolve after managing the drop off from that high place.

Keep your head up. You know we are always here! So glad to see you back, even if the circumstances suck.

[Lisa07]

Wow! This is a really tough situation for you. Congrats on 7 months. You shouldn’t have to feel put out in your own home under any circumstance. Why doesn’t the brother and gf go get an airbnb? Your health shouldn’t be compromised by their stupid decisions to have people over. Anyway, I’m happy to see you putting boundaries in place the best you can. Stay strong.