Hi, really really new to the idea of sobriety.
I don’t fit the typical idea of an “alcoholic” people usually talk about. I don’t drink every day or even in a week - but when I do drink I can’t stop. It’s like all or nothing. So I wouldn’t consider myself an alcoholic, but I do have a toxic relationship with alcohol…
I’m in my mid twenties and it’s so normalized in my friends, and society. So nobody, seems to grasp the seriousness when I explain my situation.
So many activities revolve around drinking at this age, and I too just wanna have fun, be social and drink casually with my friends. But that’s not really an option… so I guess idk I’m just struggling with the idea of what I do in these situations without isolating myself.
Hey there and welcome. I mean, yeah it’s sounds like you are struggling with the idea of being honest with yourself that you are a alcoholic. That’s the first step is admitting that, it’s hard. But even if your only doing it once a week, all or nothing, even if it’s only 2 beers on Saturday. Looking forward to those drinks is alcoholism.
The normalisation of alcohol sucks, but you seriously don’t need it to have fun. It really doesn’t make anything funner when your losing your inhibitions and saying shit you wouldn’t normally say or doing stuff you wouldn’t normally do. Ppl will bully you and try to make you feel like a loser for not drinking, bc then they have to think about their problem. Literally if everyone quit drinking, everyone would follow. Bc that’s what ppl do, follow and have to be apart of the cool crowd. Well little do they all know, sobriety is the coolest fucking thing you could do. Give it a try it’s way more fun you’ll see. Also don’t worry about isolating yourself. Sobriety is the best time find who you really are. Being comfortable with your own skin and not giving a damn what anyone else thinks. Get out for some jogs, hikes, bike rides, go to dinner for yourself.
I miss-worded myself, what I meant to say is - while many don’t consider me a “alcoholic” I do have a toxic relationship with alcohol.
So i do understand and admit that. - I am being honest with myself.
I just mean it’s hard for others to grasp the severity of my situation and take it seriously.
Nobody else needs to understand how serious the issue is-as long as you do and are willing to get better that’s all that matters. It’s simple. People who are not alcoholics will never understand what we go through on a daily basis. They may know someone who is but they will never fully understand. I got sober at 28…I’m in the same boat, everyone else around me drinks. I had to take six months and just stay home and focus on sobriety. I didn’t trust myself to go out and be around it. Make a plan, read the big book and attend AA. Ask questions. We are here to help
What you’re feeling is completely normal when coming to terms with your toxic relationship to alcohol, and over time, those feelings go away.
I read in another post that only 10% of the population don’t consume alcohol, personal experience leads me to believe that to be true. I have 3 friends who don’t drink (ever), they all go out with friends and have good times without drinking. So, there’s proof right there that no matter how normal it is, its possible to be sober and live a normal life.
As far as realizing your relationship with alcohol is a problem, good on you! I didn’t drink everyday either in my 20’s, but like you, once I started I couldn’t stop. I eventually started drinking more frequently, eventually, everyday. That’s how it works; that’s how it always is.
Anyways, be patient, be strong and don’t allow others dictate your story. It will get better.
Welcome Nikkii.
It’s a difficult one, when no one seems to understand us. When I was your age I remember “alcoholic” being chucked around my friends to mean anyone who could drink everyone else under the table.
That was me. I was in the navy at 17 and I could drink every night and every day when I came out I went into pub management.
You see where this is heading.
The good thing about you is you’ve identified the problem at a very early age and are prepared to do something about it.
I’m now 53.
The thing to remember is you are allowed to do whatever you want in life.
If you friends don’t understand you then you may have to skip going out with them for a bit, at least until you are comfortable enough to say no, and mean it.
And if your friends don’t appreciate your choice, then perhaps they are not really your friends.
Remember, it’s your choice.
If you stick to your guns and make an honest decision to not drink, you can still have fun.
I’m 700 days sober to day and can hang with friends who understand my choice.
And I’m having the time of my life.
Enjoying the freedom.
Because I don’t drink.
My choice.
I get it. I’ve been the party boy at weddings, life of the party, maybe joke of the party etc. I never woke up being like “I need to drink”… but when I got caught up in it, I went wild. Best advice I have is set a personal limit. It’s what I’m doing at it seems to work for me… as times gone on, I feel like there’s no need to drink even though I have the “freedom to drink” on certain days. Stay mindful and vigilant. It’s different for everyone.
Sorry I’ve had a busy day, haven’t had a chance to log on in a bit and I’m a little late to this thread.
When I read your post I immediately thought of this thread and the documentary attached. I just finished watching it today and it was very interesting. It sounds very applicable to your situation, hope this helps!
You can deal with these “obligations” if you feel that they are that important to attend.
Just have a good solid plan.
As Chris says, be firm and resolute in the way you carry you sobriety. You are Miss sobriety 2021!!
Always have a soft drink in your hand.
Tell your table server that you don’t drink
Get on here to stay connected.
Have a get away plan when it starts to get too much.
Don’t give in to those that would drag you down with them!
Have fun. You can still have a really great occasion.
I went to a wedding really early on in my sobriety. It is possible. All you do is have a buddy who knows you’re sober and who you can stick by. Stay as long as you feel is comfortable and once people start getting drunk, bounce.
Just wanted to give a quick update!
I did really well at all the Prewedding stuff and the wedding, didn’t drink!
Poured punch in my champagne cup for toasts and stuff (:
Super proud actually.
Kinda felt weird / bad leaving to go home and skipping the “after party” but I was tired.
And the bride (my best friend) understood and everyone was super cool and supportive about it.
Waking up not hungover was great too - I ended up working today too and took some walk in clients (I’m a tattoo artist) so xtra $ was awesome and much needed after taking the weekend off for the wedding.
Just wanted to update // say thanks to all the advice and stuff everyone said. It truly helped me more than I can express
