I’m that guy who’s always got things under control.
I’m the one who has never asked for help - why should I? I’ve survived this pain-filled life so far without help, why ask now?
Friends, I’ve survived this far through the lens of a bottle. Today, I’m feeding off the bottom and can’t pick myself up. While on the verge of so much success (personally, & professionally) I can see it and smell it! I just dont want to fight anymore today.
It’s one of those days I want to quit everything. My relationships, the few friendships I have left and even my life.
I’m reaching across the cyber-verse here asking for good, positive energy to overcome these feelings. One of the last ‘friends’ Ive been relying on for support twice blew me off and left me hanging. I popped a couple melatonin and just went to sleep last night at 730 hoping that when i woke up i’d feel like a new person on a new day, fully rested.
I’m working on day 24 and I should be proud, instead, I just want to say fuck it.
Just asking for some good positive universal energy from my friends on here. This too, shall pass but goddamn its like an elephant on my chest right now.
@Leaf. What you are feeling is pretty common. You are naked with feelings. I mean really wtf are these painful little bastards. But you have to just get comfortable with them this will be the new you! Believe it or not I think everyone has those damn things. They get better and I really do mean a lot better. Soon it’s going to be moments of blah not the daunting day/days. Me personally I think that the mental side was much harder than the first phases of sobriety. We got your back. Just hang in there
Sending you good vibes and positive energy brother. Hang in there, at times i know it seems rough but 24 days is nothing to sneeze at! It’s double the time I have. It will pass… you’re an inspriation and a motivation. It’s not worth throwing away all you’ve acomplished! We ALL have your back!
@Leaf keep going strong!! You gave me great advice the other day when I was struggling and it helped me get through a really rough patch! Stay determined and focused. You can do this!
Thanks guys! Today is def that rock bottom emotional day. Drinking never once caused me to miss work, but my emotional trip to sobriety just scored me an early day out to cry it out.
Opting for the 6 mile walk home instead of the train to try to feel better! Now if the rain only holds off!
When you hit that point. That emotional brick wall when you can go no more. You REFUSE to bury the pains, skeletons and shortcomings the way you’ve done in the past. The choice is yours… kick ass and persevere or continue to be a weakened soul who’ll die of a crushed heart.
The time to kick ass is NOW, #BewareOfShatteredBricks
Hang in there. You are so strong and you know you can do this. I know that feeling…that fuck it feeling…but it is just that…a feeling. It can’t control you. You can just feel it and let it go! You’very got this. You are doing it! Sending positivity and good vibes. We’ve all got your back.
Okay… calling off the alarms and coming back - nowhere near homeostasis, but definitely sustainable.
I walked the entire 6.5 mile stretch from downtown to home @SobahCobra79 knows the area and Dot Ave through Southie and Dorchester can be a… ‘colorful’ scene of shenanigans to say the least!
Got home, did a small bit of shopping and prepped for a bit of an anticipated dinner with the other half later this evening. Shit… I even re-arranged the living room, and tried to arrange flowers - I think I killed them but it’s the thought that counts right?
All joking aside guys - THANK YOU for your words and encouragement today. I woke up today wishing I didn’t wake up at all, and i think i just his that proverbial brick wall emotionally today. I was ready to do something I would have regretted so thank you all so much!!!
socks!! hahahaha this is great!
