Thank you so much DLS! This is what ive been looking for
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Lexi, I feel for you! Between a rock and a hard placeā¦as others have said, AA is not a cult, look up the definition. BUT???
ā¦if itās religion or the frequent references to God and prayer that is concerning, there are secular organizations that may work. Hereās a link to a site where several are listed. I would caution against Moderation Management, tho. It doesnāt work.
Good luck, and stay well. 
https://alcohol.org/alcoholics-anonymous/alternatives-to-the-aa-approach/
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Cults have a (self appointed, charismatic) leader. AA does not have a leader.
Cults are preoccupied with bringing in new members - AA doesnāt recruit at all.
Cults are preoccupied with generating money - the only requirement for AA is the desire to quit drinking.
Cults shield you from family and friends to maintain control of you. AA is a voluntary meetingā¦
I mean, enough saidā¦
I get it, when you get sober there is often an awakening that happens and people get really into what is making them sober, and if its AA, you get really into it, from an outsider, that could be alarming. From a spouses perspective, it could feel like they losing whatever control they think they have. And from just that feeling alone, it can feel like itās a cult.
Unfortunately, there are videos and blogs that support his suspicions, so he may not ever change his mind.
Its a tough spot to be in, I hope you can navigate this with your best interests as the highest priority.
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AA does not intend to be a cult but an individual person can get so caught up in it that I understand how someone else would have such a perception. Are you going to meetings seven days per week?
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That sounds like codependent, possessive thinking. Iām not saying that to criticize him as a person - heās as human as any of us and deserves his space too - but the thinking heās using is not helpful, and it needs to change.
Heās thinking of things like a bank account, like if youāre not home then heās ālostā something. The truth is, the time you spend in AA helps you to stay clean and healthy, and that means you actually have more time together, not less (because youāre actually sober when youāre home).
Heās struggling to adapt to the change and heās pushing because he doesnāt understand. Heās not a baby though and he can learn and adapt and grow. Itās just like learning anything new. He needs to learn how to live with you as an equal.
Up until now youāve been drunk most of the time, and drunk people are people we ācare forā, not partners we live and grow with as equals. Thereās a lot more vulnerability in living and growing with a spouse or partner as an equal. Heās never had to live with you as an equal before (because in the past youāve been drunk and checked out mentally and emotionally). Heās scared.
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I donāt know if you will be able to convince him that AA is not a cult but the good news is, you shouldnāt have to. If AA helps you in your sobriety (and you said that it seems to) then keep going. Your sobriety is important for you and for your baby. If your husband tries to keep you from attending meetings that are helpful for you then you have a husband problem and not an AA problem.
Sobriety in relationships is often one sided. Your husband doesnāt drink and doesnāt attend meetings. You want to attend meetings? Please do. Do whatever you need to do to stay sober. Be well. 
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If its an open meeting ask him to come along just to see what happens OR WAIT bc my other half said that AA was a bunch of brainwashing gang bangers. 3 years later and she wouldnāt change it for the world and sees the difference it makes to my, her and everybodyās life.
I used to spend hours on this app and that really did cause trouble but if the person who you thinks loves you doesnāt care enough about you to want you to better yourself then that needs to be looked at. My partner was jealous that I had more time for other alcoholics and addicts than I did for her but this recovery game is for the long haul and does go full circle, First we help ourselves by helping others which in turn helps us and everyone we love.
Tell him he doesnāt have to agree with you right now but you do need him to believe in you.
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If heās not comfortable with physically going to one in person maybe you could ask him to attend one online with you. There is an app in the Google store or apple store called meeting guide it looks like a white chair with blue around it. You can filter and find pretty much any type of meeting for any addiction and you can find online ones ( usually done through zoom.you can filter and check daily. Maybe if he attends one of those with you it will help him understand itās not a cult.i canāt drive because I have epilepsy so I do those a few times a week. Hope this helps and things get better for you.
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I started reading threadā¦and decided it would be better not too.
There are many avenues to soberity, your on yoursā¦
Be well on your journey.
What is his reason for this concern? Do you think he is worried about you or about how it will affect him? Just something to contemplate.
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Try explaining that going to AA is like going to the gym for our brains and hearts.
This is an illness, ask him if heād be as upset if youād broken your spine and would have to go to rehab everyday to make it stronger, rebuild your strength and learn how to walk again.
If he keeps pestering and making you feel bad about it you might want to revisit the definition of what a soulmate is. Heās meant to support you, not drag you down.
To me this is a red flag that eight affect your recovery, dangerous terrain to navigate.
I hope you can have an honest open conversation with him about it and that he lets it go.
I agree with the ācontrolā comment from @lorelai
We are supporting you sister, donāt give up. This is about you and nobody else.
Love
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While I donāt use AA, Iāve tried but itās nothing for me.
I was raised in a religious cult. And I can confirm that AA is nothing like that.
I do understand whereās he is coming from though because it tends to take over a bit. And in the beginning of sobriety that might be needed for some. But when you stand outside watching itās probably hard to understand whatās actually going on, and how it really helps.
With that said, I think you should do you. If AA works for you,keep going to the meetings,keep working on your own sobriety journey.
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Maybe counselling is the way to go , but maybe sit down with him tell him about your drinking and the things he disnt know then ask him if he wants you to get better and tell him that your friend in Scotland who is almost 37 years with AA that it isnt a cult , sometimes the partner gets jealous and dosnt want the other to get better that means less control but keep your meetings up wish you well
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You arent in a cult but u shouldnt be in a dictatorship at home eitherā¦i think the councilling is defo a good idea xx
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Love this perspective 
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You will not be able to convince him, so no need to try. Let him have that belief. That doesnāt mean that you canāt participate in AA. This relationship is like many other in cO-dependency. Let him have his beliefs, whether right or wrong, or doesnāt need to impact you at all.
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Thats usually how an insecure partner would react. He might lose a little control and hes probably worried you might find someone? Glad i found the NA rooms, it was the only thing that saved me. Addicts need to hear and learn from other addicts. Same goes for alcoholics, do your self a favor and keep going.
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AA is not a cult. AA saved my life. I canāt give relationship advice but a partner trying to convince you to not go to meetings because of their uninformed opinion of something they donāt understand is very toxic.
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If AA were a cult Iād still go honestly. I was so desperate to get sober that I would have done anything. Cult? Sure. Sacrifice chickens? Cluck cluck. Eat pig intestines? Whereās the fork!!
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Aināt that the truth! The term cult is always associated with the pejorative meaning, when in fact itās just a group of people that think differently than the population at large. So, indeed if it was a cult, Iād still go especially knowing the benefits Iāve reaped. Iāve yet to find a meeting with a chicken sacrifice but keep me posted! I like mine hard fried 
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