I am really happy with my 1 month milestone. it’s a huge step in my early sobriety. But I’m realizing more and more that this is just the beginning. I have been sober for 1 month a few times but they can be counted on 1 hand. I always work towards a goal… 1 week 2 weeks a month and the next goal 2 month. Even though I am tellings myself its 1 day at a time… still I am working on a long-term goal in the back of my head. Why can’t I just stop counting and stop drinking? But that is probably only for people without an addiction.
I have never been sober for more than 8 weeks. So I know very well that a relapse may be coming soon and is maybe unavoidable. In therapy I often hear “everyone will probably relapse a few times”… but when will that relapse come. If I convince myself that I am never gonna relapse… Am I not fooling myself?
How do I make a good plan now that the shame and guilt no longer drive me forward? Should I just keep doing one day at a time and don’t think to much about the long term? I am confused… but I must be patience and just keep doing what Iam doing right… Dont drink!
I have found that my best progress comes when I have a support system. There’s a lot of ways to do that but one thing they all have in common is you have regular support - you don’t do it alone - and you work to understand and meet your unmet needs (for me anyway I found my addictive behaviour was an escape from unmet mental and social needs, which I am working on now).
This thread is helpful for finding knowledge and support:
You sound like a goal oriented person. That’s not a bad thing at all. You are doing great! You’re being very hard on yourself. Enjoy your 1 month victory!
Support… yes this is important for me. I have support but not as much as I think I need. If I don’t drink I actually become more social because most of the time I drink alone. Finding more support I can work out.
My "unmet needs"that’s a tough one… not sure if I am ready for it. Thanks for your advice ,
No it is not! Gefliciteerd met een maand vriend. You keep building. You keep going. Keep working on yourself. You can only do that while being sober. I do agree with Matt that support is key. That can be anything IMO, like for example learning to play an instrument in a group (just something that came to mind, just want to say it doesn’t have to be connected to addiction). Not going it alone is key though. I found so much here, but that’s just me. You find your way. Build your life. Small steps but keep doing it. The need for alcohol will disappear. The want will go too. Believe me.
I do believe you, your are doing this for a far longer time than me. Great respect for that
This forum is a great place for support for me too.
To collect more support I have to move out of my comfort zone for sure. But I just wish there was a little bit more light at the end of this tunnel.
I have massive respect for you, you are doing this now and don’t wait till you are 50+ like me. And, IMO of course, the end of the tunnel is too far away for us humans. We can’t think ahead so far. ODAAT truly means something. Mindfulness, being in the here and now, truly means something. You can do this. I know because you are doing it.
