So sorry to hear you’re feeling so low. Please try to avert the negative energy and sadness into thinking about how best to improve your life. What small steps can you take to better your mood? Reading books? Going for a walk? Picking up a new hobby? Chatting to people on this forum? Hanging out with a friend or family member? Watching a funny movie? I really hope you are able to find happiness but can promise you that suicide is not the answer. Stay safe 
I’m here to say thank you to you all for this support, as usual you all are just great.
I’m feeling a little better, I took care of myself and wasted time watching anime and writing because I like it and it’s useful when I don’t want to think. So yeah, thanks again 
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Please your gonna get the help and support you deserve x
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