Hey there I’m a fellow addict mum in recovery, I remember feeling all of what you are il save you the time and let you know that the second you pick up the guilt and shame hits hard I picked up after 6 months and it’s taken me 3 years to get back to some normality. Your not missung out our thoughts will try to trick us into thinking we are and that’s what makes it so frustrating bc we know better. Remember there only thoughts aslong as you don’t act on them your be OK. I hope you get to turn this corner your at onto better days.
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Thank you. I ended up having the same ole terrifying “close to using” dreams I have so often. But today, I felt A LOT better than I did last night. It is just another example of how THESE FEELINGS WILL PASS. But man, when I am feeling them it feels like they never will. I have meeting tonight I plan on sharing at, hopefully I don’t allow my anxiety to hold me back. I always feel better after I share, I just need to get it out and keep letting people know what I’m going through.
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I hate hate hate hate drugs. I really want to get through this so I never hurt my child the way I have in the past. Today I have a choice over my actions and behaviors. Thank you for your support!
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Congratulations! I hope you feel much stronger now and that you know even if these feelings come back, you will make it without using. Keep up the fight!
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So proud of you for getting through those rough feelings 
I had to make a plan for myself, when I get like that. So I know what to do next time it hits.
Your not alone, although it can feel like that sometimes. We are all here.
I use to use and drink late at night from 10pm and be up all night.
Nowadays, especially recently I have had bad feelings to use and drink. I have had to lay in bed looking at the wall and remind myself that when I was high and drinking I use to look at that same wall crying feeling worse and praying to be sober.
I’m so glad you reached out here.
Big
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Your strength and determination was truly inspiring. I read the entire thread just now and was moved on how you shared your struggle and overcame for you and your child.
What an incredible mother you are. 
I am glad you were here to find help and push those demons aside in your mind.
ODAAT
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