I am craving really badly

I was looking at my old emails and saw that one of my youtube video’s was according to the youtube guidelines deemed inappropriate. I thought I had deleted all my video’s, but apparently not. I decided to delete that youtube account. First I saw that I was still subscribed to my favourite youtuber and that he had stopped my favourite series. For some reason that made me really sad and got me craving. I instantly went to my video’s to delete them and saw I had more subscribers than a bit over a year ago. I decided to read the comments. Really, really, really fucking dumb idea. I discovered I had recently gotten my first fan. He was complimenting my skills on all videos and wanted to game with me. Than I saw an old gaming-friend ask me if I was okay. Really painful stuff. Now I’m craving big time.

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Hey man, you can do this, if i were you mabe explain to your old friend and your fan your situation? Mabe you guys could just mabe hang out and talk on discord or something? Sorry not really familiar with your whole story or video gams addiction. But you got this buddy. I remenber when i first got here you were one of the first people to welcome me. Mabe find something to help take your mind off it and occupy your time.

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turn it all off and get out the house for a walk and a refocus, you’ve been doing so well so no point screwing it all up over 1 fan. if you were a musician and one fan turned up to your first concert I would class that as a disappointment, get your life back into perspective, we got ya bro.

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can’t, ive got online class now. The refocusing on class has helped though

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Good man, your addictions are very awkward bc life is basically online now so it’s an impossible conundrum trying to avoid technology.

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yeah, i think about 90% of mankind is dependent on technology. I think millions of people would die if the wifi and radio’s would stop working…

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Get on with your online class Jan. Good work.

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I’m trying to concentrate on class, but I have religion now. I can life my life succesfully without knowing about Arminius, Gomarus, Maurits and Van Oldenbarneveld. The only reason I’m being taught this is because my school is called gomarus…

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As an ignorant american ive never heard of any of them lol

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It’s Dutch history, so it makes sense you don’t know them lol

OMG. Gomarus and Arminius. Predestination and all that. I vaguely remember something from that yes. Tough stuff. That’s a serious Christian school you attend Jan.

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true, but I don’t mind. They let me believe the way I want to and that’s the most important thing to me. There’s plenty of people who have given up religion and my school accepts that too

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I explained it to them, but I don’t know if they’ll see it. Their comments were over a month ago, so I decided to delete my account before their replies. In my journey I’ve discovered that old gaming buddies can be a very slippery slope

Ah ya i can relate…since getting clean ive cut all the old people from my life…now i feel like a loser with no friends or girl and was just hanging out with family for a while. But lately its gotten better, made a couple new friends from my home group and thats definitly helping. I wanna get back into dating…especially now that my testosterone has came back (sorry if thats weird). But i know im not really in a place to worry about someone else like that and need to work on myself atm

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I don’t think spending time with your family and not having friends makes you a loser. You have sacrificed bonds with using friends. That sounds an awful lot like a winner to me. And I think your family is also happy to see you

Thanks, ya family relationships came back alot faster than i thought they would…im really thankfull i got a supportuve family

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