Hi honey - I did go to AA after failures / got tired of starting over - it wasn’t what I thought - I even knew a mom of my son there! Never thought she struggled. Everyone is different- if you don’t go it’s ok or go once to open meeting ( non alcoholics can attend & just sit & listen for an hour then decide?
I went a month & was sober 17 yrs - relapse as amnesia I can’t social drink & my last relapse is medical to help severe daily pain/ still an excuse- going to read the 12 steps again , meeting & not give up. I fell yrs ago when my mom died / got sober for my kids & pops & me so self hate & guilt would leave 7 yrs later my pops died & I didn’t touch a drop …. You keep trying however you wish & vent here - I didn’t want AA - maybe go once & observe! I’m not that religious- the high power was a room full of regular people with my story ! The energy in the room was like a battery Go out of town even ….
Either way you want ‘ write down excuses & put where can see - as they say in AA we are not saints or perfect ! Keep it up 
hugs 
@Tinkerbell Good you are here. Let’s not think about drinking for a moment. Only I beg you to stay here for a while. Beig accountable. Sharing your anger or your joys or your difficulties. Be present and connect
I did not mean you.
Yes I dont want to see a drunk person.
I am not angry at all. I just feel heart broken. Here this place is important for me. This place gives me love.
Sending some big love and hugs your way, we are all in this together 
Oh, I can understand that. I thought you were referring to people struggling with addiction. I have met so many wonderful people on my journey now. It might sound strange but I feel that I can better talk with people that have had struggled no matter on which level in their life and had to reflect and work it out. They are often humble, grateful and wonderful ressources of good energy.
You are important to this place and I am very glad you are here. We’re in this together and we share our love right here.