It’s so stupid. I drank most of the day on Monday and didn’t eat a thing. Felt like crap Tuesday so I didn’t drink and went to bed so proud. Woke up Wednesday and decided I should pick up a bottle of wine while grocery shopping. That one bottle turned into 3. But hey, at least I ate. So yesterday I thought, let me finish this bottle so I’m not tempted. Stupid stupid stupid. That “finishing” led to 2 and then a glass of wine at my parents during dinner. Which led to me saying some mean things to my mother. And calling my husband crying over it. So this morning, I’m resetting everything and starting over. Again. I feel myself spiraling and I know my work stress is over the top due to my drinking. I can handle things a lot better sober. I know this and I know I need to stop. I can’t control. I just need to stop altogether.
Im putting this out there because I need to hold myself accountable. Day 1 here we go. Again.
One of the things that helped me…being active here
If it were me, and I really wanted to be sober…come here daily, read and participate. It just one of many ways to immerse yourself with aobriety.
Along the way you will find great advice, cautionary tales of faliure, fun and friendship.
Youv got this. It’s hard because it always make you think there a loophole or a alternative way to drink. Just finish this off or just a glass etc. And it makes you feel so deflated because we can’t keep to those deals we make with ourselves cause we can’t drink like everyone else. Iv spent years trying to talk myself into just at the weekends or after 7. But it always goes back the same way. Everytime. Sometimes when the spiral gets too out of control it’s easy to go fuck it and to absolutely go for it and destroy yourself cause deep down you know it’s time to face up to the issue. I found this with myself anyway. Your day 1 now and that momentum of that spiral has stopped. Well done 
your be able to face stresses with a better focus but try put some things in place to help you when you feel stressed. Hope to see you post tomorrow with day 2 X
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that as SOON as I have that first sip of a drink, I’m completely powerless and the drink takes me to places I never intended to go. Doing whatever it takes to end each day sober has not only saved my life but given me a new life. It’s a vicious cycle until we decide to really do something different and step off of that rollercoaster. I hope you find what you need to move forward in a better way! 
Make it simple try a meeting or a 12 step program wish you well
I would consider changing and more specifically adding to your recovery program. It’s not gonna be any different this time if nothing changes.
How are you doing today?
Had a good night. My daughter had a friend sleepover so I was distracted with them. I was able to focus on other things. I have a made my day active and out of the house tonight. Thank you for checking on me!!
I’m not going to be nice! Friends I already have enough!
What’s addiction in your own words?
Isn’t it exactly the way you went trough the last couple of days? Hopeless! Want to stop but can’t? If you realize you can’t drink like others, that alcohol is your master, maybe you’re one of us! So you have to do like us. We don’t need what you have! You need what we have!
Go to a meeting, buy the big book, listen to others and do the work! Surround yourself with people who have recovered from this illness!
One thing that helped me once, and one thing that helps me daily:
Once: on January 1st I had some wonderful IPAs I’d love to have tasted. However, like you, like everyone here, I made a decision. So what helped me ‘once’ was opening those bottles and slowly pouring them down the drain. Watching those bubbles swirl around that stainless steel sink, smelling those hops. Nope. I made a decision. Watching the last of that amber liquid disappear made me stronger than the alcohol.
Daily: may be an odd thought, but make up a mantra that you can repeat in your head. The one I created and I run through my mind anytime I’m tempted is this -
I’ve drank enough in my lifetime for a dozen people. I know what it tastes like, feels like, smells like. I don’t need any more.
As others have replied here: YOU GOT THIS!!
I’m on day two and have spent most of the day thinking wow I didn’t drink yesterday this is strange! I’m the kind of drinker that can drink a lot of beer and end the night with wine I consistently feel horrible. I’m proud of my day one and excited for day to! Iv noticed things like this can’t be conquered alone we got this
Start checking in here and seek more outside support for your sobriety.
Yes! No need to do this sobriety thing alone. Glad you are here!
Imagine a life where you don’t! That life is waiting for you beyond the bottle.
It isn’t easy to change from being a drinker to someone who doesn’t drink, but there is a whole big fresh world out there waiting to be explored.
You don’t have to torture your self anymore on will I drink today or won’t I. You can NURTURE and CARE for your self instead. Think about who you are now and who you really WANT to be. I bet there is a difference? There sure was for me.
Doing the same thing over and over and over and hoping somehow this time I would be okay or it would be different.
Do you like to read? Two books that helped me a lot were Annie Grace’s, This Naked Mind and Holly Whitaker’s, Quit Like A Woman. Allen Carr’s, Stop Drinking is another. Not all of any of those books hit home, but enough did that I learned from them. Others like a meeting, you might try one?
You know exactly what drinking offers, maybe it is time to explore a new way of living?
thank you so much for those amazing words. That means so much I just told myself remember this feeling as you approach another day without drinking although my body still does feel strange but I can feel things changing for the better