I’m struggling really bad… I seriously hate my life. I’m so broken… I can’t take it anymore 
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Whats happening Aleah?xx
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Greetings
I am in near perfect accord with your sentiment. What began as an affinity for alcohol during high school became a substance abuse joyride spanning more than two decades. It served to alienate and isolate, brewing a melancholy disguised with happiness and steadily sapping whatever hope or motivation I could scrape together.
You and I are yet still alive, despite it all. The implication therein is that somewhere, however hidden or buried it may be, a drive for better refuses to die and would see us happy again.
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Welcome and WOW!!.. You know how to make an entrance, First post is a piece of gold 
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There is help and support here for both of you. Lots of links, lots of online humans who understand in many ways the struggles you may face.
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You’re ok, just need direction… like me… So I’ll tell you what I’d want to hear… You’re a good person… you’re doing what you believe is right and if you haven’t, the mere fact that you know it’s wrong means you mean well…
Perfect. This level of frustration and stuckness and loathing of the status quo is just what you need to propel yourself into the right direction.
I had to get to the place where you are and then I had to take the courage to make the leap into the unknown. I could do that because I knew ppl had done it before me.
What sucks?
What do you want it to be like instead? How do you want to feel?
No matter what your specific answers are (and it would help you to write those out) the necessary tool to get there is sobriety.
Are you ready to put the work in to make changes?
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You can be sober, you can heal, your life can improve. You deserve a sober, happy, healthy life. There is a lot of different experience and help here. Best wishes to you.
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Im not sure if it helps you to know probably everyone on here (or near close) has felt this way in the past. I have felt this way, and its weird and amazinf when you realize you no longer feel that way. All it is is one day at a time, of this. I hope you sticj around on here. I didnt have a supportive sober community for a long time, and cominf on here helps…I just hit 30 days, but its so different having this group in my pocket all the time. I feel different, and dont wsnt to let it go…just gotta get over that first hump that feels insumountable. Wish I had words to make it better when we’re struggling, or to to ease your pain just know you arent alone. It can get better, first step is just not drinking for 1 day. Then try to add another. Find what works, find what doesnt work. For you. You dont have to solve all your issues at once. Its overwhelming trying to figure out where to start, yet just not drinking other stuff will follow.
We’re here for you. Promise.
Xo.
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Hey there! I am suffering just like you right now. I had almost 21 years and my mother did something unspeakable and horrendous and when I knew in my heart she won, I lost it 
!!! Now I can’t go back on Suboxone, which I loved and I lost all my methadone weight, back to methadone still suffering from my Suboxone and they started me off at 30 MGS when before I was at 300 MGS. This clinic is horrible. I never believed someone could have a dope habit and be on methadone, but I know now it’s VERY possible. I didn’t use all day bc I was throwing up from one of my frequent migraines. Then when I could finally raise my head, I did 5 bags 
. I could have made it without using today/tonight. It’s not even good stuff anymore. Some people love fentanyl when I can’t even feel it! But I my body knows when it doesn’t have it. I wasn’t trying to make this about me, I just wanted to let you know that you are so not alone!!! I figured sharing my suffering would help you know that 
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