I don’t know why I can’t stop. In the past 5 years I have only made it 30 days once. I will be like I can have a drink and I will be ok then I start and I don’t know what I’m doing. I wake up apologizing for stuff that I think I did. I start regretting my life. I can’t talk to anyone into life because I am so ashamed that this is happening. The only one who knows is my girlfriend. I don’t want anyone to know
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I highly suggest getting into a recovery program (AA , women of recovery, smart) and work on the “why” you go back to the drink in the first place.
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you can stop but you dont want to. You actually can do almost anything that desire if your want it enough.
I would not like to get shot down by the AA brigade but i feel that in most cases drinking is just a bad habit and becomes an integral part of your lifestyle which you will find excuses to retain.
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“Can’t” is the word of note here. You are giving it power. If you believe that you can’t do something then you won’t. Start believing that you can and things will start to change. There are days when I have to work really hard to convince myself to keep going. Keep fighting. Because recovery is not an easy journey. But you have to learn how to change your thought process as @Oliverjava also mentioned. If you are talking down to yourself all the time then you will stay stuck in the same cycle. But once you start encouraging yourself and believing that you are capable of change - you will make it stick. I choose to tell myself that I WILL accomplish things. That way I hold myself accountable for my choices. Saying “I can” leaves me an out. But saying “I will” makes it seem like I have no choice but to continue on this journey. You are stronger than you know. Keep going. Keep trying. You CAN do this.
Here are some things that helped me in early recovery:
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You CAN stop, first thing’s to admit you got a problem and talk about it. Like it says up top, support meetings should be a great way to start. Just try one and it’ll be eye opening.
Admitting you have a problem is the first step and the most important one… once you’ve done that step, then you can think about the next one.
Good luck to you! 
Sky✨
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I think you’ll be surprised how accepting and supportive people in your life can be when you let them know your struggles. It’s an enormous relief to get it off your chest and out in the open too. Try telling one person about this and see how it makes you feel. A friend, sibling, uncle.
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Hearts for everyone!! Y’all are great. @MeganG, everyone gave you some great advice and I agree with it all. So I guess I’ll ad mine. The most crucial part of my sobriety was the realization that all I have to do is not take that first drink. The second or 3rd or 20th are not my concern because they wouldn’t exist if I didn’t take that First fucking Drink! That little tidbit really dumbed down the How to Stay Sober for me. It’s so simple. No matter what, don’t take that first drink!
You are being honest with yourself and that’s a Huge step! Keep on going pal🙂
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What you described is alcoholism. I want to stop but can’t. There’s a solution if you get into AA and get a sponsor that is properly armed with some facts about themselves. If your willing to put in the work you can see a solution to your issue. Best luck to you. Get to a meeting and find a sponsor and work the steps. God bless.
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That might be true for someone that is not a real alcoholic/addict. But in my experience even when swearing off the drink or drug for good with the most earnest intentions, I find myself drunk/high again. Asking how did this happen. I reccomend going through the big book of AA if someone thinks they have a problem to see if they’re a real one. If they are the solution is in the big book of Alcohlics Anonymous and going through it with a sponsor. My experience show me that I suffer from a 3 part issue. The physical allergy once i put one in. Mental obsessions which convice me to take that first one and a spiritual malady. The obsession in my mind convinces me everytime if I dont fix whats wrong on the inside of.
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Gotta agree with @MissQuinn, you’re giving it way too much power. Get involved in some kind of recovery group. If we can all do this, you can too. Recovery and living sober is attainable for anyone. You are not the exception as much as you might think so.
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I know i have a problem. If i needed to read a book to confirm that i did then i would definately not have a problem. Whilst i would never knock AA i do feel that with the advent of internet there are now alternatives,like this APP for instance and a ton of information. Some people need the companian ship of AA some dont. Othets find that there are people at AA with very little history of abuse. Thats cool as we have no right to judge.
For the record i dont consider myself an alcoholic but just an abuser. My booze intake is fact and can be tallied.
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So, what do you suggest? I don’t like AA after multiple tries.
MeganG we have all been where you are. The difference and I agree with @Rod that it is a habit we have all fallen into and we make so many excuses “I’ve had a bad day” “I am stressed” “I need a drink” as if a glass of poison is actually going to make things better. If you can go 30 days, you are certainly able but it does take mental resilience to change your mindset. Look through the forums on this app and their are many contributions of things you can do to enjoy your life without alcohol. @oliverjava made such a long list of things done in the first two months, I was exhausted reading it. Write all the times you felt ashamed, forgive yourself and now imagine a life not filled with shame, but pride, make another list of how you plan to achieve this. Speak to professionals if you can’t speak to friends or family. Don’t put yourself in situations where you will cave in. Change your routines. Practise mindfulness/yoga. Good luck from us all!!
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Alcohol or drugs were not my problem they were my solution. The book shows the experiences of others and how they recovered. I knew something was wrong before the book. The book contains clear cut directions from people that felt like I do and how they fixed that spiritual malady.
Thank you… as long as I’m on this forum there will be no middle of the road solution out of me. This is life or death for those that are like us. We must carry the message.
Christian missionarys felt the same when they were spreading their faith however there were other religions that had a equally good message. By not listening to each other wars have been fought over this to this day. Very sad as the various faiths foundation all want a similar outcome.
Some horses need blinkers to perform other dont
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I’m not by anymeans saying the solution I found is the only one. It’s just what worked for me and countless others. I’m just letting others know there is a solution that is out there. I’m in no way knocking other ways to recovery. This is just what I found.
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