Today marks one week into my sobriety from alcohol. My husband started his own self detox when I admitted myself into treatment so he is also one week sober! I am so proud that I finally found the courage and self love to do this for myself and NO ONE ELSE and I’ve found myself to be so much happier and feel healthier than I have in a very long time. That being said, while I was away I was able to recognize many of my drinking triggers. I grew up in a very religious family and when I left this religion I was automatically estranged. My family hates my husband and blames him for my drinking. When I told them that we are working on our sobriety, they weren’t proud or supportive or loving in any way. Just condescending, judgmental and over-all just awful. This was the first time I felt triggered to pick up the bottle again but I didn’t! That same night, my husband and I went to a concert and had no desire to drink. I know we are still very new in our sober journey and our journeys are still very individual so I guess my question is… how can I be surrounded by so much booze and not be tempted in the slightest but one conversation with my mother pisses me off to the point of even entertaining the idea of relapse?.. it hurts my heart so much.
First off, congratulations on your week!! That is wonderful and I am glad you are here.
As a daughter, mother and grandmother myself, I know that for me…my Mom is perhaps my original trigger 
…as I am likely same for my daughter and I know my grandmother was for my mom. So be gentle with yourself there, that’s a biggie in my mind. Healing our mother wound can be one of the most profound parts of our life journey and seems to take a lifetime. There is so much to unpack…no matter our relationship and how it stands. I find myself having more grace for my mother as I age. Not that she was a ‘bad mother’ far from it, just a human woman doing her best in this crazy world.
Family can be complicated. Can bring joy and heartache. Life.
Delving into ‘my stuff’ helps me heal my self, gain insight into why I do what I do, why I am like I am, how I was impacted by my parents and family of origin. It is a lot to process and a long journey. And it can lead to strong healing, strong self and strong sobriety.
Learning to live life as it is, handle the triggers and our emotions as they arise and not turn to our well worn path of blame, shame, guilt and using substances is so worth it. You and your healing journey are so important!! 
That’s how triggers work, it’s confusing. I can be around alcohol and not be tempted, but a stupid argument with my wife and boom, I’m pulling out all the tools to stay sober.
For me, part of that trigger to drink is so I can say to my wife, “look what YOU made me do!”. It’s something I’ve spent years to change. It’s like a spite relapse for me.
I’ve worked on that character flaw by reminding myself that how other people act, has nothing to do with me. Some people act and treat others poorly because of their own issues, and the way I see it, if you want to act like a jackass, that’s ok, I’ll take the high road and you just look like jackass.
It takes a lot of practice and patience to get there, but when you can unclench your fists and allow yourself to not give a damn, it makes life and sobriety easier to navigate.
Congrats on 1 week!
This is actually very true. Thank you so much! I am the only one in control of my actions and emotions and instead of chasing love and acceptance from others and get triggered when I’m not, I should just remind myself that I love myself and that is enough
Alexa so very happy for your 1 week of sobriety! This is awesome and to be doing this along side your husband but for yourself is remarkable. Wish you both much success in your individual journeys.
I know many times hurtful situations / conversations can really tear me up inside and leave that empty hole that my addict mind thinks only alcohol will fill. These are all lies of course as alcohol doesn’t fix anything ever.
When i feel triggered and want to light up or drink i try to instead do a calming meditation or take a walk. Listen to something funny or a song / artist that always uplifts me. Anything to get me out of that mindset and forget the conversation.
I also believe that we can create our own supportive surroundings and unfortunately some family members do not make it into that circle. This is your journey and i am so thrilled that you and your hubby are doing so well! Keep up the amazing work 
The drinking “at” people was something I struggled with way after I had dealt with other triggers too. In the end, I had to rationalise with myself that I would only be hurting myself if I drank, the other person wouldn’t be hurt, only proved right.
@HoofHearted “spite relapse” - good word for it!