Hey guys…Looking back at the best year of my life when I was sober makes me feel so guilty and unworthy of happiness. I was doing so well. . I thought I could control it. I thought just having a few drinks I would be fine. Well, I went back to black outs and hurting myself and now I sit here with half of my face bloody and scratched up from not being able to stand on my own. I have hit rock bottom once again and now I understand that this is a forever lifestyle. Hi, my name is Ashleigh Cord and I am an alcoholic. I cannot have a few drinks, I cannot change my behavior towards alcohol and I am willing to put in the work to have a bettter life. I made a mistake and I just have to keep pushing forward. Appreciate you all.
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Welcome back Ash. I’m so glad you are still alive.
From Matthew Perry 
RIP
While he prefers not to disclose how long he’s currently been sober, he does still count each day. “It’s important, but if you lose your sobriety, it doesn’t mean you lose all that time and education,” he says. “Your sober date changes, but that’s all that changes. You know everything you knew before, as long as you were able to fight your way back without dying, you learn a lot.”
I hope you see you around the forum
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Welcome back. You got sober before so you know what you gotta do 
. What you could work on more this time around is why your perception of alcohol was still that of something you were missing out on. The journey isn’t the same for everyone so what works for me may not work for you.
Step 1 is always the same though, stay sober for today. You can do this, best wishes to you.
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Sorry to hear about your relapse. It was always a humbling (among other things) experience for me. “I thought I could” “just having a few drinks”… very familiar to me. Unfortunately - so is “blackouts”… In retrospect, I blame all of my relapses on my own ego. False confidence of conquering my addiction with a period of sustained sobriety.
Thank you, for this reminder. Wish you well - you can do this! Try not to get too discouraged. We’re all in this just one day at a time.
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Glad you are back, Ash. Your title says it all…you DO deserve a better life. So onward you go, one step at a time!
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My sponsor said, “we dont have a drinking problem we have a thinking problem”
Write down everyrhing that alcohol does to you and your life. All the things it ruined. That will be your list of things you know. If you start thinking about alcohol, refrence that list.
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Welcome back first off and To get back on track after an addiction relapse, go easy on yourself. Remember that long-term sobriety is a process and not an end goal. Every long-term process will have setbacks along the way. Addiction recovery is hard, which is why many avoid facing their issues. But you went through the process and faced your challenges. There is no shame in having a setback. Now, you can come back better than before .You do deserve a better life we all do as people in active
recovery .Dont be hard on yourself
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And now you learned something. You learned it the same way I did: by trial and error 
Write it down, ore copy this writing of you on a piece of paper to remember it always.
Because there will be days again your mind started to romantisize the drinking again and tries to talk you back into it. But this time you will know better and when you don’t, you can read what you said to yourself and remember…
You can do it, you did it before!
Use this relapse to learn and grow! 
See you around! 
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Yea that booze whisperer will tell you that your ok and can drink without any consequences ,and if you havnt got a good defence then its back to the beginning , important to get a new mindset and there are groups out there who can help wish you well
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Welcome back Ashleigh!
Glad you made it back when you did. It could have gotten so much worse and I’m sure you know that. That time you had sober is not lost. This is only a blip in a life long journey.
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I did too. You are not alone. The first day of the rest of our lives. We deserve love
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I relapsed too after 10 years.
All that you had before is not lost. Let this be part of your journey and a stepping stone. Alcohol or any DOC is a coping mechanism, let us do the work to figure out why and how to fond other things to help us cope & celebrate life.
Alcohol has notbing to offer. Nothing to lose, except the horror that comes with it & EVERYTHING to gain. Xo.
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This hits a bit differently now knowing how Matthew perry passed its a scary reminder of what this addiction stuff can do to us
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