Did 30 days in rehab.
Used my first night out…
I got 5 days.
Then got paid.
Fuck. Im so sick of this fight. I’m sick of this
I have such a beautiful kid and I have a good relationship with my baby daddy.
I just finished my last of it.
I want more. But I don’t wanna ever tough it again.
I hate myself I don’t want to fight anymore.
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Welcome to Talking Sober. Rehab helped me get clean and sober and pointed me in the right direction. But I did not put in the work and I could not tolerate the discomfort of not drinking, so I went back to it.
Depending on what you are using, there are different actions to take to block the slide back to using. I don’t have much experience with drugs, but I have seen suggestions here about blocking people’s numbers and deleting those contacts. With booze and getting paid, I have engaged family members to help me be accountable for doing the right thing.
Here’s a thread all about ways we have gotten and stayed sober: Resources for our recovery
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Fkn hell I feel your pain. I’ve worn every alcohol t-shirt there is. I had a bad relapse about a month ago. It was horrible and I hated myself. But, I got through it, and now I’m feeling very happy again. I’ve met an amazing Polish girl, and she is a non-drinker, which is perfect for me. Just don’t give up. There’s always light at the end of the addiction tunnel.
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Don’t hate yourself. Hate the drug and do what you have to do to stay sober. Delete the contacts on your phone associated with your D.O.C or get a new phone number out right. If you WANT this, then you have to do what you have to do in order to stay the course of your sobriety.
I too put myself into a Rehab and threw myself in it wholeheartedly. I listened and participated and related to the people who were there as well. Never give up, @Trinity. You have to do this for Yourself first. You get yourself squared away first, then, you can focus on your beautiful kid who needs you strong and in the right frame of mind, all the time. Welcome to Talking Sober. Whenever you have the urge, reach out to one of us or post your feelings on here. That helped all of us here, tremendously.
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If you can live for 30 days without it you can live a life time without it too my friend. You dont need it you have proven that already, there is a life without Alcohol. Please start again and stay away from the people and situations that you know will make you drink. The pain and frustration you feel now is temporary and will pass when you have some AF time back under your belt again. I spent 30 years drinking and never believed I could stop. Believe me when I say this … you can conquer this it is not beyond you.
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Welcome to the family! This isnt an easy path, but it’s one worth fighting for. Read everything you can on here, participate as much as possible. Start craving, come on here and talk about it…its a great first step.
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Dont bash ur self up relapse is normal and we do need those to understand take it one day at time you are worth it this will probably be your hardest battle but at the end of the day every thing will fall in to place one day at a time keep ur head up
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Well I’m broke. So thats my first step. I don’t even know what else
I checked myself into rehab at the end of 2019 for 30 days. My DOC was alcohol. I relapsed roughly 23 days after getting out of rehab, and drank most of last year. Just because I relapsed doesn’t mean that rehab was a waste. I learned a ton, and I made lifelong friendships that continue to help me to this day. I wish I hadn’t relapsed, but that was my journey and it is what it is.
I would encourage some sort of a sober community where you can meet in person or virtually. There are many options out there. I am rooting for you!
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Thank you. I am going to na meetings virtually. I need to go to more.
I have after care with rehab every Thursday then cbt therapy after that.
I know I want to get better.
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Good, Trinity! You are doing all the right things. It’s hard. Keep working at it and I’ll do the same!
30 years thats a long time . I spent a long time drinking heavily . I think I did 5 years of heavy drinking out of the 10 years. Heavy I mean drinking 1 to 2 bottles every night of wine or one bottle of grey goose . I would continue with whatever else I had available on some nights. Its hard to measure. I don’t want to get personal but just out of curiosity did your health had irreversible damage. I ask cause I am having some strange symptoms.
Can I ask what kinds of symptoms you are having? If too personal, I apologize. No worries.
Bloatiness, hard stomach, sensitive stomach, like a muscle cramping on right side when I bend down all of a sudden or get up from bed sometimes . The bloated feeling was going away but came back full force cause i started drinking coffee again. When I stopped drinking alcohol I noticed that my body hurt all over . Everything feels like it hurts more than normal. There is a stomach bug going around so I don’t know I feel like I should just eat nothing . I got labs done I got two tests left to do. I have not mention stomach issues to doctor cause it wasn’t this uncomfortable I thought i had it under control. I will call tomorrow. Otherwise blood pressure has been under control since I stopped drinking .
These past couple of days it felt like I have the flu. Stomach pains, body pains. I have been 45 days sober .
A beautiful child, a good relationship w the baby daddy! That is joy and that is love! Love yourself by continuing to do all you can ( like you are ) to get and to stay sober. Hate the DOC, love yourself and those around.
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Sounds like a stomach bug I had once. I hope all the labs come back well! Check back in and let us know you’re doing okay! Hang in there.
High Cholesterol, high blood pressure, skin rashes, swollen stomach, irregular heat beat, reduced liver function, and I also suffered a pulmonary embolism from a bleed in the
bowel following one of my last drinking session. And I would medicate and lie to Doctors and myself other than stop drinking.
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This is good. Its around this point that once we realise we aren’t going to win this battle that the only other option is surrender. We surrender or we die. Some people are lucky they can have a bit of fun and that’s the end of it but not people like us, we take fun to the extreme until it stops being fun at all. When I surrendered I also surrendered to the fact I couldn’t do it alone, I needed a support network like this place or a bunch of like minded people happy to set up a WhatsApp group who we could and still can reach out to 24 / 7.Zoom meetings or basically try anything and everything. Remember asking for help and telling others how you feel is not a weakness it’s our strength it’s how me, you and thousands of others stay sober. I wish you well on your journey. 
Thanks 
I’m doing okay. Day 4 sober. I’m hanging on
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